The assistant | Remus Lupin (on pause)

I love him . . . right?

I had been feeling better today. So much better, in fact, Remus thought it would be nice to have a sort of date night. I loved the idea.

Finally I get to spend time with him. Like normal. 

Tonks, someone I grew fond of, and Sirius sat at the edge of my bed. Showing off different dresses Remus picked out for me. 

"Thank you both for this. It means a lot. There's been so much tension because of this," I motioned to my bed, "that a date night will be the perfect ice breaker."

"It's no problem Maevie," Sirius started to call me that in the hospital, his way of comforting me, "you both need it. Especially Mr. Wolf."

Tonks laughed, "Yeah. He's been so stressed that a night of fun will be good for him."

I laughed too. Well I forced out a laugh. Maybe this night would make us turn back to normal. 

Maybe tonight I'd see his smile. His beautiful smile. 

"Okay so, " Tonks stood up and showed off a dress they had been holding, "I think this'll get you some." 

The dress dipped too far down in the back and sort of dipped a bit low in the front. It was short and kind of cute. But I wasn't confident enough right now to wear it. Maybe another night if I was really tipsy.

At that I actually laughed. Remus wasn't expecting to get me into bed tonight with these outfits, right? Remus wasn't expecting to get me into bed ... ever, right? The thought made me really start to laugh. 

We had a very romantic relationship and that's all I wanted. I wasn't a prude, far from it. I just had no sex drive. No sexual desire for him. Or anyone for that matter. 

Well that wasn't entirely true. I had felt those desires in past relationships before but some relationships are just different. Like Remus and I's relationship. It didn't need me to be attracted to him.

-In that way. It didn't need me to be attracted to him in that way! 

"What?" Tonks asked with genuine confusion.

I stopped laughing and a smile stuck onto my face, "Well you can't be serious."

Sirius went to say something but he stopped. 

Tonks tilted their head to the side and I let out a gasp.

"He wants to get into bed with me??" I fell back onto my bed and sighed heavily. 

I thought Remus only liked me romantically. There wasn't anything wrong with him for liking me sexually, I just didn't feel the same. At all.

"You don't want to sleep with him? What are you a plant?" Sirius asked with sarcasm in his voice. 

I groaned, "Basically!"

Tonks put the dress down and made their way over to the side of my bed. 

"You can just tell him your tired. A guy like that won't force you to do anything you don't want to do." They sounded so sure. But I couldn't help but feel like there would be repercussions if I said no. 

What if he grabbed my neck again? That thought made me begin to shake.

"Right. Yeah. I will. Thanks." I replied instead of saying what I really wanted to say. 

{}{}{}

I heard a knock on my door as I finished getting my dress half way zipped. It was black and it dipped slightly in both the back and the front. 

"Come in." I expected to hear Remus, rushing me to go, but instead I heard a comforting voice. 

"You look nice." Regulus said and I turned around very fast. 

"... Thanks." I shrugged and the dress almost fell off. "Dammit." I muttered.

I tried to zip it up myself but the zipper was unreachable. There was only one other solution to my conundrum. 

"Could you?" I asked and turned back around. I took my short black hair and I pushed it to the side of my left shoulder.

Regulus hesitated but walked up to me. He grabbed the zipper delicately. I barely felt anything as he began to drag it upwards. I could hear his lack of breathing and I realized he was holding his breath. Because one wrong move and Remus would kill him. Right. 

Finally the zipper reached the top and he let his breath out. 

"I wanted to ask you something. That's why I'm here." I turned around and looked at him in his eyes. His eyes were nice, like pools of shimmery green. 

"What is it?" 

I bent over to grab my bag on my bed. Then next it was my shoes. The shoes I hated but Remus loved. Tall heels that hurt like hell. I sat down on the side of my bed and began to put them on. 

"Well I heard from Sirius about your predicament." Of course he did, "And I'd like to help."

"How could you help?" I asked.

"If he got violent again I want to be there to prevent an accident." Regulus sat down next to me but he scooted over when he realized how close we were. "I won't be intruding on your date. I'll be tables and tables over." 

My heart skipped a nervous beat. 

I loved Remus of course, however the thought of Regulus being there already made me feel safe- no. No no no no no. I didn't need another man at my date. No. That would ruin it. 

Although the thought of someone else there to make sure Remus would stay in check was comforting. 

"If you want to come you can. I can't force you to be my body guard." I ended up saying. 

Regulus stood up and nodded his head, "No worries. I don't mind."

He turned to walk away but I felt the stupid need to thank him. 

"Regulus!" I stood and ended up running into him as he turned. 

I head butted his chest pretty much. 

I tried to take a step back but his hand was by my back, trying to stabilize me. 

Oh no no no no no no.

I am not feeling those feelings. Not now. 

I looked up and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to thank you."

Regulus's eyes softened for the first time and he let out a small chuckle. 

"It's my pleasure, really." 

Then the night began.

I still loved Remus of course but one thing was for sure. I had more sexual feelings for Regulus then I did Remus. And if Remus found out he'd choke me again.