my savior | jegulus

five

regulus was eighteen when he realized that he was so very wrong.

he was so tired of the shit that voldemort had him put through, and so he realized he didn't want to live like this anymore.

he has spent months working on this. volunteering kreacher for a task he wish he didn't have to put him through. doing intense research, giving kreacher specific orders as to what he should do when he leaves the cave. planning his last few days to ensure that the people he loves, who are fighting on the opposite side of this war, might have a chance at winning.

he knew what he was about to do would most likely kill him, but it needed to be done in regulus' eyes. so he sat down at his desk, addressing his last letter to the only love he ever knew.

dear jamie,

i know that you are probably not expecting this letter, but i felt you deserved an explanation. if you're reading this, then i am most likely dead. i did what had to be done. i hope you're proud. i know you're married and i even hear you have a kid on the way. that's great. really, i wish you all the love and happiness i couldn't give you. i regret it. all the times i turned down your offers. you were only trying to save me. but you couldn't save someone who didn't want to be saved. but as i sit here now, i hope you understand that while you couldn't save sixteen year old me, you did save me. i am able to do this now because of you, my love. it was your love that shaped me into who i am now, your love that led me to do what i am about to do. so james potter, never forget: i love you with all of my heart, for you are my savior.

forever and always yours,

regulus black

and as his lungs began to fill with water, burning his throat, clouding his vision, the image of brown hair and bespectacled glasses appeared in his imagination. so with one last thought,

'james potter, you have saved me from a life i could not live.'

he let himself be dragged deeper into the depths of the water.