"Awe, you hurt my feelings, fire girl."
"I didn't know you had any, fuckboy."
________________________________________
Falling in love is never easy.
But what do you do when the one person you are not supposed to fall in love with, ends up being th...
For the first time in a very long time, I just ran.
Dressed in remotely fitting attire, I just ran around the area and let my legs do the work they're made for.
It feels good, just jogging without a destination and letting the air flow through my lungs in violent waves. It's what I live for. It's what I crave every second of every day.
The way your lungs burn when you run the longest sprint you ever ran to catch a ball that's absolutely uncatchable, but you do it - you catch that fucker, and you bathe in the way the audience screams your name, blaring horns and victorious music all around you. I miss that feeling, miss the freedom of a football field, where all that matters was that you do your fucking job.
No one cared where you lived, no one cared if you wore a wedding ring on your finger, no one cared how many girls you slept with... You just existed, and as long as you did your job, you had nothing to fear.
I never thought I'd want to have more than that, more than the man I was on the field. But I do. Jasmine turned my world upside down, and I let her. I even encouraged her with how much power I gave her over me and my life, and I don't want it back.
Still, I'm glad to see her car is not in its usual parking spot by the time I get back to my apartment. Maybe some silence will be good. Maybe some distance from this hurricane of a woman will get my head straight again, and I'll be able to focus on what's at hand.
Me.
By the time evening rolls around, I've finished my fourth bottle of beer, and I'm sitting in front of the TV, just letting life be life, when my phone rings.
Jasmine.
The mere sight of her name is almost giving me a heart attack, and I wonder... When did I become this person? When did I start feeling like someone stole my sanity just because I don't see or hear from her for an entire day? It's ridiculous.
I send the call to voicemail, as I do with all the calls I get from her over the weekend. By the time Sunday evening rolls around, I don't even bother looking at my phone anymore; it keeps ringing and ringing, but I don't want to hear it. It's been a while since I just did what I wanted for an entire weekend, since I could just exist as the man on the field.
Glancing out onto my balcony, I watch the warm summer night slowly but surely meet its demise. Usually, Venus and I would enjoy the last rays of sunshine now before we got ready to destroy our bedroom. It's insane how after two days without her here, I see her everywhere. She left her imprint on every piece of furniture in this apartment, and I feel her eyes on me, shamelessly inspecting me like the hungry Goddess she is, from every corner of the room.
I'm startled out of my thoughts by lightning striking in the distance, the whole sky illuminated in a sudden brightness. Stepping out onto the balcony to further inspect this unusual weather, I watch the world roar with thunder for a short second, the previously warm night now threatening to turn violent.
For just a moment, I observe the clouds suffuse, watch the world darken from the announcement of a new guest.
Guess it's time to prepare for the storm.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
