Whispered Desires

Chapter 16: The Man And The Moon

KILIAN

"Why exactly am I picking you up, again?" Hayden eyes me with suspicion as I throw my suitcase into the trunk of his fancy Tesla, blatantly ignoring his remark as I look up at the sky, watching another airplane take off.

"Beautiful weather today, huh?" I walk around the car and slip into the passenger seat, suppressing a heavy sigh that waits in the back of my throat.

"Dude." He gets behind the steering wheel, letting the door click shut behind him. "You know I don't mind this, but I have a feeling something's up with you. Don't try to distract me with the damn weather."

I turn in my seat to look at the man I've called a brother my entire life, knowing full-well he won't take any bullshit answers today. Or, ever. This guy is a straight-shooter through and through, and as much as that annoys me sometimes, I'm also well aware that it's part of what makes Hayden, Hayden.

"Jasmine and I had a fight." I admit before I turn to look out the window.

"You did?" he asks while pulling out of the parking lot, not even looking at me as we merge into the traffic. "What about?"

Memories of that morning flash in my brain. Even three days later, I'm still furious about the way things transpired, about the fact that once again, I was judged for doing something everyone else does, too. "I'm just sick of it," I mumble as I run a hand through my hair.

"Sick of her?"

"What? No." I furrow my brows at his response. It's what makes this entire situation even worse. Because as infuriated I was, all I wanted to do at that moment was to fuck her brains out, to show her just how much her mere presence affects me. I can't get enough of her, and that pisses me off even more. "That's the entire fucking issue. I'm not sick of her, but I should be."

"Why should you be?" Hayden glances over to me, and I can't help but sigh as I shake my head. As if that would help sort my thoughts.

"It's not what I do, man. You know that."

"I know that you convince yourself of that, yeah."

I can't help but laugh when I look at him again, seeing that smug smirk on his face as he focuses on the road, obviously not daring to look at me right now. "You and your deep, meaningful insights, I swear to god..."

"What?" He laughs as he drives down the highway. "I'm just saying what I'm thinking. You haven't been like this around a woman before."

"Yeah, I'm well aware of that..." I can't help but sigh. "She irritates me with every little thing she says. You know, she puts herself on this pedestal, looking down at us mere peasants, although she's just as bad as me." I don't even care if Hayden is listening to me by now, the words just flow from my lips as I ramble on. "She fucks around, too! I don't judge her for that - let her screw who she wants. And still, I'm the one on trial? It doesn't matter what I do, I'll always be the playboy, and I'll always be judged for that. It annoys me."

Hayden doesn't say anything for a while, but as soon as we reach the parking lot behind my apartment building he turns around, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if he's getting ready for the biggest speech ever. "So... Why do you care?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "What?"

"You say she judges you for what you do - but why do you care? You never did before. Why now?"

"What a stupid fucking question that is..." I can't help but shake my head, ignoring the way my best friend arches his eyebrows.

"It's a legit question, you just don't want to answer it. Or don't know how to."