Crewmates - SakuAtsu fanfiction

Chapter Ten

Credits to anta_baka00 on Twitter for the fanart

***

Before Sakusa could even realize, the day had passed by and the sun was setting once more. The fourth day of their trip vanished into thin air. He had spent his time in the cabin, finally able to organise the last of the paper work and drawings in Atsumu's office instead of leaving them into neat piles. 

When Sakusa noticed he now needed candles to light up the room, he remembered he hadn't even seen the captain since this morning. Even then, Atsumu did not seem in the mood to talk, so Sakusa left him be. Normally, the older boy was the first one to come see him, making sure he had eaten or was drinking enough water, but not this time. Worry started to fill his gut, until he remembered what Komori had said... 

'Heavy information...' Sakusa repeated to himself. He couldn't help but doubt his trust in the captain after hearing those words. It wouldn't be the first time Sakusa would be used in such ways. Maybe Atsumu lied when he said they weren't the kind to attack or steal from others. All he knew was that they were definitely looking for something, and that Atsumu might take advantage of the favor to gain something of big value...

Sakusa hated the possibility, but he knew from the very beginning that it was all too beautiful to be real. Sakusa's blood started to boil from the constant speculation of potential lies or threats. How could he have fallen so deeply for such an easy lie? It was obvious and clear now. He'd been lied to about something. There were too many unanswered questions about who these people truly were.

He took an extra layer of clothing and stepped into the night.

Osamu and Rin were on the deck, sitting beside one another drinking and chatting. He supposed they sneaked passed Kita's guard to be able to access the alcohol, or they were granted access... He walked towards them as composed as he could as to not break his nerves.

"Look who finally snuck out of the wreck hole." Rin slurred under the influence of the drink. "About time, thought you'd end up rotting in there." he laughed, hiccuping at his own comment.

"Do you know where Atsumu is?" Sakusa questioned, looking at Osamu, who seems to be handling the alcohol much better.

"Crew's corner, but I wouldn't go see him if I were you. He's been in a... an aggressive mood, all day." Osamu answered, taking another gulp while Rin was testing the feel of the twin's arm.

"I need to talk to him." was his only reply as he turned from the couple, ignoring the warning. He needed to clear his conscious, or he'd go mad. He hated unanswered questions. It gave him anxiety, and for what.

As he stepped down the stairs, he heard a loud banging against the walls of the distinct area Atsumu was supposedly in. He approached slowly not wanting to alert anyone else who might be there. When he peaked behind the cloth hanging from the ceiling, he saw a broken captain. His shoulders were tense as he leaned on the small desk, looking at a multitude of papers scattered both on furniture and on the floor.

"What do ya want." Atsumu spat viciously. Sakusa was surprised he even knew he was here.

"I-I wanted to talk." Sakusa stuttered, unaware Atsumu could become so...intense. Atsumu stood straight again, taking a deep breath before turning towards the politician.

"Sorry. I thought you were Osamu." his voice weak, but still irritated.

"I-I can come back.." Sakusa wasn't sure this was a good idea anymore. Not with the captain so fired up.

"No, it's fine. I'm good." he smiled faintly. "What is it?"

Sakusa couldn't dare. He saw how hurt the boy looked, how much rage was in his gaze, but he hesitated for too long.

"Come on. Say it." Atsumu spat again, his patience growing thin.

"Come see me tomorrow morning, okay? I think you need to rest..." Sakusa said calmly as he started to retreat from the room.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me!" Atsumu screamed, leaving Sakusa in shock when he felt the captain's hand around his wrist, holding on tightly. Sakusa could feel the bruises being formed.

"Atsumu, let me go." Sakusa said calmly once more.

"Tell me what you wanted to say. Don't you FUCKING dare hide something from me." Tears were now running down his cheeks. From pure rage? From pain? From sadness? Sakusa couldn't tell.

"Atsumu, please, you're not in any condition to talk right now." Sakusa's voice was a bit more severe this time. Clearly the captain was blinded by his anger at the moment.

"Just," he breathed deeply, trying to keep his rash movements in control. "Please tell me what ya came here for." Slowly, he let go of Sakusa's wrist. The latter discretely wiped away the sweat from his palm without breaking the eye contact he had managed to earn. 

Atsumu was about to collapse. His eyes were empty and red from crying. His cheeks swollen and scratched from his sleeve and his lips too as he kept biting into them. Sakusa only noticed his tensed jaw, popping a vein or two around his neck. He'd never seen such a sorry sight...

"Komori said you found some alerting information last night, and you haven't come to see me at all today, so I was worried." Sakusa lied. Bringing up the truth of his suspicion of Atsumu's intentions might end with only Sakusa and a bleeding core.

Atsumu didn't reply. He simply walked pass Sakusa and laid down one of the empty hammock.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Sakusa offered softly, avoiding any more violence.

"Go away." Atsumu whispered, exhaustion now echoing weakly, all fighting energy spent to the last drop.

"I'll be in my room, if you need anything." Sakusa suggested before he made his way back to the cabin, ignoring Rin as he made a comment on the loud blow he'd heard earlier.

Sakusa sat on the bed, his breathing painful. His heart was hammering against his chest. He took a few seconds to reset his thoughts, clear his mind. He tried to remember that he was safe, he was alive and he was breathing. His wrist was still tangling from Atsumu's grip. His skin now turning red as well as some darker spots where the pressure was more intense.

"Stop. Stop. Stop." he told himself, trying to keep his thoughts under control. His hand moved of it's own.

"....Need.....distraction." hearing himself say the words, he stood quickly from his position and took the new bottle of alcohol Osamu had brought him the night before. He struggled to remove the cap as his hands shook relentlessly. When the cover finally fell, he tried to pour a little on his handkerchief, but failed miserably. He cursed at the mess, but kept up the action. Once the cloth soaked, he dabbed his wrist with said material. The thoughts of the possible diseases creeping onto his skin made him nauseous. The strong smell of alcohol didn't help either as he rushed to the nearest bucket, emptying his already hollow stomach. He was getting dizzy and light headed. With the little energy he had left, Sakusa made his way to the bed and crashed onto it, keeping the soaked cloth on his wrist. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. It was fine. His hands were disinfected, and he was okay.

"Damn it." he cursed. Nothing was right anymore. Atsumu was an enraged beast. Sakusa might be a naïve fool to fall for stupid lies of a pirate who he now considered his friend, and he didn't even know if he could trust Komori anymore. Everything was turned on its head.

Sakusa dropped the disinfectant on a small table and settled on the idea that some rest would be the best option for now. He needed to think, clear his mind and sleep. He undressed slowly and curled himself under the covers, inspecting his wound one more time.

The skin was now purple and sensitive to the touch. He didn't understand how it all happened, but he couldn't deny it anymore. Tonight proved as much. Atsumu was not the kind and childish person he thought he knew. He was so much more then that. He didn't know what excatly, but Sakusa was now terrified to find out.