Living with ADHD

Hope

Hope is a weird thing. It comes and it goes, and it is hard to hold, but so so easy to let go of it an watch it destroyed. It is light when it isn't needed, and heavy when you need it most. It's been broken and beaten and bent out of shape along with us, and still manages to stay.
When we are born, we don't know what hope is. It is nothing. It is a cluster of sounds we rarely hear in our new ears. But as we grow older, we learn what hope is. Honestly it is insanity.

If I were stuck in a hostage situation, with a gun to my head, logic would tell us, "i am probably going to die," but we still cling to the hope that maybe they don't pull the trigger and maybe the police stop him in time. It is all just insanity.

Now back to growing up. As we get older and learn what hope really is, we slowly start to loose faith and loose hope. The once thick rope that tied hope to us is slowly sawed away, until nothing but a single thread remains.

And sometimes, for some people, it snaps.

And they give up.

I haven't given up yet. I cling to every bit of hope I have with every situation in my life. I have hope that I will stay clean and see my niece get married. I hope I will one day find my place in the world. I hope I will find someone to stand by me for the rest of my life. I hope that someone finds a cure, or at least a way to prevent adhd. I don't want any child to go through what I go through.
And the last sliver of hope I cling to is the bracelet. That's all that makes me positive about what will happen next.