In the court of law || h.s.

04

Harry Styles.

...

Louis apartment isn't too big. Not too small either. It's a pretty fitting size for a single boy in his 20's. It is a mess, and I don't know if he ever cleans up, nor if the floors have ever seen a vacuum cleaner. It's not directly disgusting, just not the way I'm used to. I have been here a couple of times before yesterday. Mostly to pick Louis up before a party or something like that. I'm pretty sure he has been living here most his life. He lived her when we met, and that's more than four years ago. I don't really know his story, I realize. I immediately feel guilty that I'm living on the guy's couch and know nothing about him.

Louis was Niall's friend first, and as I was friends with Niall and we went out a lot at the end of high school, I got to meet some of his friends, including Louis. I found out that Louis lives no more than 3 blocks away from where Amelia and I's house is, and so we just kind of became friends. We have never really been that close, but we just hang around each other a lot. We don't talk much either, but I enjoy his friendship, and he is so much fun at parties. He genuinely just lives his life day by day. It pisses me off, that kind of lifestyle, to be honest, and I will admit, that his stinky apartment is not exactly my favorite place on earth, and that his attitude can be kind of annoying from time to time, but it is not really like I have any other option than to stay here with him. He is okay. This is okay. Maybe. Not. Not, actually. I sigh.

The car felt burning hot as Amelia sighed and looked out the window. The small fight we just had was really pointless and wasn't even worth fighting over. I don't even remember what it was about. Leah was humming in her car seat in the back of the car. We didn't really notice her, truth being told.

"Hally?" she stuttered out of nowhere. Amelia and I's eyes immediately met, and her smile reached her ears. Every little disagreement we just had was completely forgotten and we let out a small laugh in disbelief. I looked back in the car shortly to see Leah giggling along.

"She just said your name!" Amelia said.

"I know..." I giggled. I couldn't believe it. It's not much seen from the outside, but for me it felt like acceptance. Not like I didn't know Leah knew who I was, but now it felt like she had accepted me for being in her life for good. Amelia faced forward as she continued to smile. She didn't let down the smile for the rest of the day. Leah had just turned one, and Amelia and I just moved in together the month before. Leah had been talking for a couple months, but only the most common baby words like mum, food, daddy and dog. She knew what sounds the cow makes, and how to count to three. She was always a smart kid.

"Hey man, you good?" Louis carefully asks as he dumps down beside me on the couch. I realize how deep in my thoughts I were and that I must have looked horrible, both inside and out.

I let out a little sarcastic laugh and put my head in my hands. I don't say anything.

"Anything I can do?" he continues.

I sigh as I shake my head leaning back in the couch. Louis goes quiet. I can hear his breath going deep in his stomach. He gets up and walks to the kitchen. I try my very best to not cry, to keep the damn emotions under control. I feel like I'm losing it. Feel like I'm this close to falling of the deep end, and I have no one to help me. The people here for me, I won't let in. It's not because I don't trust the boys, they would just never understand what I have just been through, and I hate being a burden to anyone. If I could choose, I would handle all this myself, but with no place to live, nowhere to go and nothing to aim at, the road to getting by alone seems pretty impossible. I might have to let them in some day, or I will lose them too. I can't afford losing anymore people right now. I don't have anyone anymore.