barbarism (dreamnoblade)

chapter thirty four

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|||Technoblade POV|||

He returns with a heavy heart and an empty mind. The ticket to his happiness tucked tightly away in a pocket. 

Assuming the blood leaves his system sometime tomorrow then he would have four days at least until he would have to go back to Schlatt. Though Technoblade might end up going back before that, a part of him felt safe around Schlatt despite the anxiety. Maybe it was because of the confidence he gave off, or the sincerity.

He almost trips over several times on his way back to the base, his feet moving slower than he would want them to. They cuff against the soil and leave marks as he drags himself home. The forest feels different, maybe because of the moving shapes or maybe because of the dancing spots in his eyes. Technoblade hasn’t felt like this before, he wonders if it was the alcohol, how did Philza deal with this?

He fondly remembers when Philza would drink, he would hum and sing, sometimes tripping over nothing. It was funny then but now Technoblade feels sympathy, understanding now what it really feels like. It wasn’t pleasant.

As he gets closer he notices someone outside, he immediately is put on guard, hand reaching for his axe. Though once he recognises the silhouette as Dream he goes lax.

“What are you doing out this late?” Technoblade mumbles and yawns, looking at the sky. It looked about midnight, stars very visible but being blocked by the swaying trees towering over them. Looking upwards so fast makes him stumble, almost falling over.

“Well I was waiting for you, I was wondering if you… uh.” Dream trails off and looks away with a nervous gaze, Technoblade raises an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic action.

“Would you want to come with me? I want to show you something.” Dream finishes off with a sigh, and Technoblade shrugs.

There was no harm in going somewhere with Dream, he had already practically proven himself to be trustworthy. Technoblade runs a hand through his hair, feeling the knots pull at his head. He must look like an absolute mess right now.

“Sure, lead the way then, Dreamie.” Technoblade giggles at his own nickname.

Dream turns around at lightning speed, “Dreamie?!”

“You always call me Pinkie so I might as well give you a nickname,” Technoblade loves the way Dream appears flustered, mumbling and looking away. The mood quickly fades away to nothing as they begin to walk, Technoblade a few steps behind Dream as he leads the way.

Technoblade doesn’t know where they are going, the forest all merges together to the same boring vegetation. He hasn't gone out in this direction before, so he’s blindly following Dream further and further into the forest. It’s at this point he notices how the trees and bushes get denser, and the air gets darker.

He’s about to ask Dream where they were when the forest suddenly pulls back to a small clearing. Technoblade peers around to see a house in the corner of the clearing, covered with heavy vines and moss that cling to the bricks. Dream grabs his hand and pulls him towards the little building, making sure to be careful where they stepped. 

Technoblade notices the bear traps and charred grass around them, scarring the soil beyond repair.

“Where are we?”

Dream doesn’t respond for a moment, instead opening the door and ushering Technoblade inside. Once he is inside he is hit with a stench of ash and grass, he looks around to survey his surroundings.

“This is my house,” Dream states and walks further inside, but Technoblade takes his time looking around.

It looks quite run down, vines hanging off the ceiling and sprouting flower buds. Damp moss clings to the walls and creeps down to the wooden floor, which was cracking and creaking with every footstep.

Tehcnoblade walks up to a nearby couch, touching knife punctures and a dark dried substance he could assume was blood. The furniture itself is covered with a layer of dust, parts of it appearing to glimmer from the moonlight filtering through cracks in the wall. 

“This way,” Dream grabs his hand again and Technoblade feels a strange warm feeling coil around in his stomach, like butterflies. 

Dream leads him to a ladder, which they use to get on the roof. From there he gets Technoblade to look up at the sky, and so he does.

From here he can see the sky, body relaxing at the sight. Stars litter the sky like sugar, peppering the empty nothingness with tiny glistening crystals. The sky bleeds off into a deep blue from where the sun had set, as vivid and churning as an ocean.

“I… I haven’t really looked at the sky like this before,” Technoblade feels the hand on his own tight, he turns around to see Dream taking off his mask, turning to give him a warm smile. That same feeling returns, he didn’t know if it was the drinks or the way Dream’s eyes pierce his like shining jades.

“I come here a lot, I used to sit up here with my mum.” Dream turns to look back at the sky, “I miss those times, but I thought I’d show you.”

Technoblade can understand him, he also missed the easier times in his life. When he would visit the waterfall with his family, when Tommy didn’t hate him, when Wilbur was stable. When Philza wasn’t crippled because of him.

“Yeah… this is beautiful.” 

Dream chuckles, eyes reflecting the stars as he lips part, “yeah, you are.”

Technoblade doesn’t realise what he said, in fact, Dream was the first to realise. His face lights up with a shade of red as his head snaps away. Technoblade also feels a blush creeping up his neck, scorching his ears like flames.

“D-dream?”

“Forget I said that, please…” he mumbles and rubs the back of his neck with his hand.

Technoblade doesn’t understand this feeling in his chest, it aches. It feels like he’s drowning, but unlike most other times he feels overwhelmed the water is warm around him. It feels like falling into a gentle sleep, he welcomes the feeling, letting himself sink down further.

He starts giggling, bubbles escape his lips and into the water around him. It’s warm, he’s warm and happy. “Sure whatever you want, Dreamie.”

“Techno- stop that!”

“M’using my real name…” Technoblade feels sleepiness tug at his vision, he hugs himself lightly and continues to watch the stars, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I- for everything, you don’t deserve this…”

Tears are streaming down his cheeks, why? They feel flushed and hot. Technoblade goes to rub them but before he can lift a hand Dream pulls him into a hug.

“Don’t be sorry, Techno, it’s all worth it if I can help you.”

Technoblade sniffles, he doesn’t know why his emotions were flipping so dramatically. Maybe it was the bottles he was given by Schlatt. Either way it felt nice to finally be able to open up.

"I want... to help them all. I know I can't but- but I'm responsible so I have to at least try!"

"But you don't have to try alone."