Our Little Moments

five // the ocean

The ocean is not a place of serenity for me. Much like space, majority of it is uncharted, yet to be known. But unlike space, there is no wonderment that fills me as I think of the sea. We all know of the monsters that lurk far within them; the whirlpools that can trap you inside; the darkness that encapsulates you if you dare go too deep.

The ocean, I suppose, is far too chaotic to be home for me.

Still, I am somehow here, the sight before me a stretch of long white-sand beaches. My feet padded on the sharp shells and corals, and I found myself walking towards the water I now fear so much. Slowly, despite the anxiety, I sank my body within it, hoping for the calming effect of warm seawater to wash over me just as it did before. But now, all I can feel are cold fingertips and a racing heart, the air escaping me despite my head being above water. Adrenaline rushed through me as I sprinted out of there. I tried to breath in the relaxing scent of fresh air but was met with the saltiness of the sea instead.

What a sight I must have been, a grown man drenched and bawling his eyes out by the beach. I stayed like that for a while, wondering why I feared and hated the sea this much. My memories are blurry. I don't remember how I got to this place or how long I've been here, but something tells me that if I stay in the water for a bit longer, I'll find it out.

I stared at the sea, hoping for the tides to stop. Maybe I'd be less afraid if it was like that. But I knew its impossibility; knew that I was far from being Moses for the sea to follow my will. Instead, I inched forward. Closer and closer until the water rhythmically tapped on my feet. I was drenched again, this time in sweat. I moved further, so fixated on how deep I was in it, I didn't see the large wave coming at me. Before I could get out, the ocean had already swallowed me whole. I was... drowning.

All at once, I remembered what had happened for me to end up here; to be so afraid of the sea that I had loved growing up. The memories flooded my mind. The reason why the then-melodic sound of the waves now feel like a bad omen to me.

It happened on that one bright, sunny day in Torrijos. I remember driving to a beach and basking in the freshness of the air. I remember eating exotic food sold in local style stores, holding hands, and then letting them slip away.

I remember now.

Her cold fingertips, my racing heart. A kiss full of desperation and not romance. A lover lost to the seas.

No, the ocean can never be home to me. For it has taken away the only home I've ever known.

---

wassup, children. i am back. temporarily.

boyfriend asked me to help him make a story for their activity bcs he said he sucks at it. needed to use the phrases 'long-white sand beaches', 'relaxing scent of fresh air', 'melodic sound of the waves', 'calming effect of warm seawater', and 'exotic food sold in local-style stores'

t'was weird using them, ngl. boifren helped with wording a bit, but other than that, i am basically this story's mother uwu. just wanted to share this one since i've been away for more than a year now. sorry about that, been having some crisis, didn't know if people actually like my writing or they're just being nice to me. ha ha self-confidence go brr

i cried after making this so pls don't be gentle with me and berate this story as much as needed. people being too gentle with me makes me feel like they're saying shit to not hurt me

anyway, because of this piece, i'll hopefully be able to make some more stories. i'm planning a fantasy novel right now. not sure if it'll work out. also planning on using a new writing style. i've never used third person a lot before.

yea, i think that's it. see ya tomorrow