Yungblud Imagines

Depression During A Stream

I'm a streamer. I stream on YouTube and Twitch. I play games, make music or just sit and chat with my community. I normally have my cool kept while I stream but today, I just couldn't. I had been battling my depression a lot more than usual recently so I thought that streaming would take my mind off it... no, it didn't.

I was sat in my chair, scrolling through chat after I took a break from playing Minecraft. Most of it was black hearts or general questions. I answered questions and did the random things people asked me to do, like say different phrases or whatever it was, then continued to scroll through. Then I started to see more negative messages coming through.

User 1: is it just me or has (Y/N) gained weight?
User 2: what happened to her face, she looks worse
User 3: no one even likes her content, why is she still streaming
User 4: definitely dating Dom for clout

As more came through, my mood started to shift. I became more reclusive, more kept-back. I kind of wanted to end the stream but I promised another hour or something of it so I just pushed through. I kept answering questions but they were more short and quick answers compared to my ranting and raving I did earlier that stream. My laughing was reduced to small chuckles and I wasn't standing up to make jokes or funny little skits or anything like that. While I was streaming, I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I called lightly, then in came Dom with a McDonalds bag and a drink for me. He always did this during my streams as I'd do this  once a week.

"Delivery!" Dom called, barging in and kissed my forehead. He passed me the bag and drink then kissed my forehead.

"Thanks babe." I said quietly, reluctant to eat anything. I took sip after sip of the drink he gave me but didn't really touch the food. Dom noticed my change of pace and knelt down in front of me, in view of the camera. He looked at me with a concerned face.

"What?" I asked, faking a giggle.

"Something's upset you... what's the problem?" Dom asked sternly. I knew he wasn't playing but I didn't really want to admit it in case he thought I was seeking attention or something.

"N-nothing... I'm fine." I looked back to my computer for a moment before Dom put his index finger under my chin and moved my face back towards him.

"What's... The problem?" He asked again, desperate to hear the answer. I sighed.

"Just... not feeling myself today, is all." I faked. Dom stared into my eyes, trying to figure out if I was lying or not. This happened occasionally, if I was ever upset and I'd lie, he'd stare until I gave in. Today I didn't.

"You're lying, I'm not stupid. Come on, love, please? What's the matter?" Dom pleaded, wanting to help. That's when I gave in. I sighed once more.

"I just... I'm getting hate... and I'm trying not to pay attention but it just keeps coming..." I felt myself tear up. A tear trickled down my cheek, which Dom quickly wiped away. He then took me into his arms and kissed my head.

"Listen, I know it's hard to ignore, but you don't have to take it to heart. They want to see you unhappy, they find joy from it. Don't give them the satisfaction, darlin'. It's not worth it." Dom advised. He kissed my forehead then stood me up to hug me properly. He held my head on his chest then kissed it. I always felt better in Dom's arms. As if there was nothing in the world to bother me. As if it was just him and I. He slightly pulled away from me, then he took my cheeks into his hand and he kissed my lips slowly and passionately.

"You know I'm always here for you. I love you (Y/N)." Dom said, pulling away from the kiss.

"I-I love you too." I replied, kissing his cheek and hugging him once more.

"Want me to stay here and finish the stream with you?" He asked, smiling at me. I nodded slightly and sat back down. Dom pulled over the extra chair I had and sat next to me.

"So... hehe... Dom's staying to finish the stream with me, everyone say hi." I said, sniffling and stuffed up from crying. I looked in my phone camera and wiped away my extra tears. Dom and I continued the stream until the end, with everyone asking us questions about our relationship and any content together, which we kept secret. Once we signed off and ended the stream, Dom spun my chair around, while I was still on it. He turned it to face him so he could speak to me.

"What got said on there?" He asked, wanting details.

"The type of hate you think of when it's mentioned. Weight, looks, clout—" I explained before Dom cut me off

"Clout? What do you mean?"

"They said that it's only what I'm dating you for." I felt my eyes burning again.

"(Y/N), darlin', you know you're not only with me for clout." Dom said, curving his index and middle fingers to make air quotations. "Because I'd know if you were, I wouldn't be dating you if you were, trust me."

"I know... I just... can't help it, I've been really bad up here today." I said pointing at my head. "My depression has struck me all day and just as it eased off for a bit, those messages popped up in chat." Dom shook his head.

"They're just keyboard warriors, love, don't pay them any mind, it's not worth it." He comforted me as I turned off my set up.

"How about we order food and just relax for the rest of the night, eh?" He suggested. I turned to him, smiling.

"I like the sound of that."

So for the rest of the night, Dom and I spent it eating pizza and watching movies.