Yungblud Imagines

Insecure

Y/N's POV:
I have been friends with Dom for a few years now... I won't go into context but we met at a concert a few years back, before his career took off. We've been friends since then and we haven't drifted away... until recently. I haven't been feeling to great with my mental health recently. I had developed feelings for this messy haired Brit I met a few years ago, but it was throwing me off everything else. I've suffered with anxiety and depression for the most of my life but I had grown used to it, but as my feelings were getting stronger, my mental health was deteriorating slowly. I mean... he and Halsey dated for a while and she's so freaking pretty... now Jesse and him had been flirting since the Strawberry Lipstick video... and she's so sexy and pretty... and everything I'm not basically.

As much as he deserved to be with such an amazing girl, I couldn't help but get jealous of what we could have had. I would always look at myself in mirrors and wonder why I was cursed with such a horrendous body. My stomach would hang out, my posture was awful, I never had much motivation to shower until 3-4 days after the last. I just wasn't for him.

As Dom noticed that I wasn't doing great, he offered me to come on tour with him (we're gonna base this when he goes on tour this year- the year being 2021). I accepted, wanting to spend time with him. Although my mental health wasn't great and Jesse basically became part of the tour crew and tagged along with us, making me more insecure, I tried to make the most of it. I tried to ignore their playful flirting as best I could to prevent breakdowns but to no avail. I would cry almost every night on the bunk I was given on the bus, quiet enough so no one heard me.

While being on tour with Dom and everyone else around me, I would sit in my bunk at night and think about Dom's past relationship and possible future ones too. I really wanted to be part of Dom's life in a relationship, not just a friendship and it made my mental health reach a point where I took it upon myself to "diet" and exercise. By "diet", I didn't eat as much as I used to, if not at all. I would skip meals frequently and when it came around to dinner, I would barely touch it. Each meal I skipped, Dom always looked at me with great distress, maybe from experiencing this kind of behaviour from me in the past.

Dom's POV:
(Y/N) hadn't been herself lately, I'd came to realise. Even after I invited her to come on tour with me. I cared for her, she was my best friend. She would frequently skip meals and would barely eat if I told her to. Also, when working out, she would overwork herself... really overwork herself. She'd come back from the gyms 3 hours after she had left and couldn't really do much afterwards. This would happen everyday and it really worried me. I had asked the boys to see if they knew anything about it, I asked Jesse as well, thinking she'd know. No one did. I was the only person who noticed it. It stressed me out so much, but I didn't want to invade her privacy. Plus, I didn't really have anything to flag up, all I knew was that she was "trying to diet", which was what she had told me for weeks.

One day, (Y/N) could barely do anything. She couldn't get out of bed properly, she couldn't even lift a milk carton for her morning coffee. I ended up doing it for her, as if her body was breaking apart. That whole day, the more I realised she couldn't do her everyday tasks, the more I started to stress. That night, I didn't even want to go on stage, I was so worried about her. She still went to the gym that day, after everybody telling her not to. Me, Adam, Tom, Michael, Jesse... everyone told her not to go and to focus on dealing with her pain, but she didn't listen. It really freaked me out. I went on stage and acted the way I normally did, but all I could think about was (Y/N). What was it that was making her hurt herself this way?

After the show, I met up with the fans and did all the usual stuff, including signing posters and papers, taking pictures with people, even crowd surfing off the tour bus at one point. When we finished, I took some cleansing wipes to clean myself up from all of the sweat that was dripping from me, as we didn't have a shower on the bus. After this, I got changed into some joggers and left my shirt off to cool down. I climbed into my bunk to try and sleep, calling goodnight to everyone and calling goodnight to (Y/N) to at least make it seem like I cared. All of that night, I was tossing and turning. I couldn't sleep, my thought kept me up. I wanted to get to the bottom of why (Y/N) was acting this way. It had happened before but not as bad as this. She wouldn't overwork herself in a gym for hours everyday. I hated to see her like this. I decided the next morning to speak to her...

Thank you so much for reading. This is going to be another little mini-series kind of thing so I'll have the second part up as soon as I can 🖤🖤🖤🖤