The Fox & The Crow

Chapter Twelve *not edited*

My mouth is so dry.

My lips are chapped.

I can't breathe.

My hands continue to reach towards the small ball of light. Time slows down. Too long. I need the light now.

When I squint, I can see a swirl of blue trapped inside of the ball. It looks so cool. So refreshing.
My fingers close around the small sphere. The light shakes uncontrollably. Shrieking noises come from within. Cracking noises echo from every side of me. I cover my left ear with one hand and continue to hold tight to the small knot of light.

¨Elaine.¨

No. I can't let go.

¨Elaine.¨

The voice sounds so relaxing.

¨Elaine.¨

¨Elaine.¨

I sit up in my chair and pant as I take in my surroundings.

¨Finally. You're up.¨

I look to my side and see Edmund lying on a makeshift bed. Red and yellow silk blankets cover him and beaded pillows support his head. He looks ash grey, thin, and irritated.

¨My lip is bleeding.¨

I sigh as I get up and walk to the other side of the tent where herbal remedies, medicines, and bread are strewn over a dark wooden table.

Bringing over a small ointment I sit down by his bed and begin applying it to his lower lip which is deeply cut and slightly purple.

¨So now I'm your mother?¨ I tease, slightly irritated.

¨You're nowhere close to being my mother. And I didn't ask you to do anything. I could've applied it myself.¨

I furrow my eyebrows.

¨Fine.¨ I toss him the ointment and get up. ¨Do it yourself, then.¨

I hear Edmund huff out behind me, but the sounds he makes are soon covered up by the deafening chirping of crickets. I take in a few deep breaths and look out at the night sky. A pale crescent moon stares back down at me.

¨How is he?¨

I jump slightly but regain my composure seeing as it is just Susan.

¨He seems fine.¨ I shrug and turn my attention back to the moon.

¨I can take over your shift.¨

¨Are you sure? He seems brattier than usual.¨ I stiffen up slightly.

¨My turn starts in twenty minutes anyway. And I can handle him.¨

I nod and stand where I am as Susan slips inside the tent.

Since Edmund got back he has been in and out of a fever. Susan and Peter say that he often was sick back in London, but they don't want to risk anything. The Pevensies were quite upset when they were told that the only thing Edmund could eat for the first few days was broth, but that boy obviously didn't mind. Never in my life have I ever seen anyone consume so much broth.

On his second day in camp, he apologized to his siblings and to Aslan, but he seems to be avoiding me. I don't mind it; I never enjoyed his company before and I don't intend to start now.

¨Why does she have to take a shift?¨

I can hear Edmund whining to Susan from inside the tent.

¨Because your exhausting sometimes and not all of us want to be around you for longer than two hours.¨ I can hear Susan laugh slightly.

¨You're not funny, you know.¨

¨I never was.¨ I can hear the smile in Susan's voice.

¨She's not family. We don't know her well. And, to be honest, she's odd. Have you noticed how the only person she seems to talk to is Lucy? That's odd.¨

My breathing becomes heavier and I try with all my might to make my breaths short and quiet, but I sound raspy. Stepping quietly, I sneak away from the tent hoping that they do not hear me leave. I will not accept pity from Susan and I doubt that Edmund has any to give.

I am shaking with rage and my fists clench and unclench.

He is so insensitive.

And I don't care that he didn't realize I heard him. That doesn't excuse him at all.

If anything, it's worse.

Realizing I'm at the banks of the river I sit down and begin throwing small rocks into the water, enjoying the satisfying feeling that watching the ripples give me.

After a few minutes of mindless stone skipping, I hear a rustle behind me.

Turning quickly, I see the Anima Mea. It hovers above the ground in one massive group of soft pink petals. Swirling, it begins to shape into Violet.

¨Please.¨ My voice is scratchy as I try desperately not to cry. ¨Not her.¨

The small shape of Violet's face is already half-formed and I can see a dark eye stare back at me from behind the mass of petals. Slowly she breaks apart and the original form is returned to the spirit. It spins again and a hand is formed. Slowly, the features begin to solidify and become human-like. The hand reaches up to touch a nonexistent face and when it makes contact, the petals turn a pale color and skin begins to take over where flower pieces once were. Soft red lips, freckles, and dark eyes meet my gaze. A smile spreads across the face and I notice how the nose scrunches up slightly when it smiles. The eyes look less intense and more inviting.

I hate it.

¨God! Please no.¨

The spirit frowns and the face of Edmund breaks and bursts into petals.

I turn back to the river and begin clumping sand together, enjoying the feeling of sand between my fingers.

My reflection is joined by another and I look carefully into the water to see who it is the spirit has morphed into.

My eyes widen when I recognize my features.

¨You did all you could.¨

The spirit does not directly talk to me, it is more of a hushed whisper that whistles through the forest.

¨But it was never enough.¨ I'm crying.

¨Sometimes it will never be enough.¨

I turn from the reflection in the river and my eyes meet my own.

The spirit stares back at me.

It reaches a hand towards my face and wipes away a tear. At contact with my skin, the fingers slowly turn back to petals and are blown away.

We both watch as the flowers are whisked through tree branches and are pulled out into the night sky, dancing among the stars.

I look back and immediately the spirit leans in and kisses my forehead, bursting into petals until all that is left is the memory of the connection and a faint breeze.

I pull my legs to my chest and hug myself, waiting for the night to break and the sun to rise.

¨Sometimes it will never be enough.¨