Once Again [Unedited]

- 2 -

I pulled out my skateboard from underneath my bed and briskly rushed downstairs, making sure to be careful when passing the living room. I was being extra careful with my steps in order to not wake up my waste of a stepfather who was currently passed out on the sofa with an empty bottle of beer in one of his hands.

I had at least five minutes before my mother would step into the house with the groceries. I could already hear the engine of her car outside as she parked it in the driveway.

I almost would've successfully made it outside the house and down the street... but again when have I ever been so fortunate. Just as I was about to open the door I felt someone grab my hand. The hair on my body rise as I recognize the familiar tight grip.

"Where are you going out so late on a weekday?" he said a little sloppily indicating that the beer was still in his system.

"I'm going down the park for a few Pops," I said as I tried to keep my composure.

Stay strong Fayna. Stay strong. He won't do it again.

I let out a quiet sigh as I felt the grip of his hand loosen.

Suddenly I felt him grip my face with his sticky beer stained hands. The stench of the beer on his hand made me repulse but I managed to keep myself in tact.

"You better not be meeting that fag girlfriend of yours," he snarled, his mouth directly by my ears.

"I literally said that we aren't together any-"

I was cut off by the stinging feeling of the impact of his hand against my cheek.

"Ow dare you tal beck to me!" he slurred.

"I'm sorry pops. My mistake," I said with my usual composed demeanor back.

Just at that moment the front door opened.

"Evening Thomas," my mom said to my stepdad as she gave him a brief kiss on the cheek before leaving to place the bags of groceries inside the kitchen on the marble countertop.

"Hi mom," I said softly.

There was no reply.

I left out the door and was immediately greeted with the breeze from outside.

I dropped my skateboard on the ground and took out my earplugs. I skimmed through the playlist on my phone before choosing one of my favourite songs at the moment.

As the song began to play, I hopped on to my skateboard and pushed myself down the street before speeding down the road feeling the impact of the breeze against my skin.

Spend some time away
Getting ready for the day you're born again
Spend some time alone
Understand that soon you'll run with better men

As I continued to pick up speed and as I rush down the street, I felt my eyes start to water.

Soon tears started to rush down my cheeks uncontrollably.

Still, I continued to speed down the road.

Alone again
Alone again
Alone

No use looking out
It's within that brings out that lonely feeling
Understand that when you leave here
You'll be clear
Among the better men

My speed slowly started to decrease as I saw myself coming closer and closer to my destination.

Alone again
Alone again
Alone again
Alone again
Alone

Alone again
Alone again
Alo-

I yanked my earplugs out of my ears and hopped off of my skateboard so I could carry it in my hand.

I walked towards the eye-catching scene of the huge lake which sat in front of me. I sat at the far edge of the mini cliff which served as protection over the huge pools of water underneath.

I took a deep breath and took in the view around me.

Slowly I got up, and turned my back towards the edge of the cliff with tears in my eyes.

This is it Fayna. This is what you want. Just lean back. We can end it all here. Just fall.

I took a step back towards the edge and closed my eyes.

.....

"If you dare open your eyes Fay, then I'm not buying you that chocolate ice-cream you've been craving all day," Raene said from behind me.

"How did you know I've been craving ice-cream all day?!" I asked shockingly.

She giggled, "Girlfriend telepathy?"

"Wowwww," I said loudly as I clapped my hands. "Are we almost there now? I'm tired of walking and the anticipation is killing me."

"Impatient much," she said with a hint of amusement in her voice. "We're basically almost there."

"Ughhhh," I groaned.

"Joking. We are here now," she said as she moved her hands from my shoulders. "Open your eyes in 3...2.....1-"

.....

I opened my eyes.

...and slowly moved away from the view of the lake. Tears rushed down more and more as I moved away, shocked at the mere thought of what I was about to do.

I cant. I cant do it.

"Fayna? Is that you?" asked a familiar voice from behind me.