Once Again [Unedited]

- Prologue -

"I think it's time for us to take a break"

I stood stiff beside her after hearing those words leave her mouth. Suddenly a ringing sound was played on replay in my ears. The sound around me slowly began to fade farther and farther and farther away from me. She didn't say a word afterwards. Most likely, waiting for me to say something in reply.

I was so stunned that I couldnt find my voice to speak. Instead I bowed my head down facing the floor and began to pick the skin off my fingers, a habit of mine I've always done when I was feeling nervous or uncomfortable.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw her expression soften, as if she had caught on to the fact that I was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation we were now in.
To think that she was the one making me uncomfortable, must've shattered her heart a bit.

After a few minutes of silence between us she whispered, "I'm sorry Fay. But this relationship no longer makes sense for us. I know you also have been thinking the same as well"

I mean, she was right.

Our relationship started last summer. We were both in a very difficult situation and state of mind so us being with each other was a great comfort for both of us.

Last summer was the peak of my deteriorating mental state. I constantly disassociated myself from everyone around me and tended to keep to myself.  It went to the point where not even my closest friends could contact me.

I felt like a burden talking about my problems which was why I would always stay by myself, forcing myself to deal with all the demons surrounding me alone.

Meeting Rae, felt like destiny for me. The weight I was baring on my shoulders for years was finally lifted from me and I could finally be with someone I could treasure and actually feel like I'm... happy with.

We did everything together. She was my first everything. My first love, my first kiss, my first serious relationship and also my first girlfriend. We were the whole package.

I knew that first loves weren't one to last forever but I believed that we were the exception.

That was all until recently, and by recently I mean a few months back when our family found out about our relationship.

That was where it all went downhill and just like that... the gap between us grew larger and larger until the point where it felt like I couldn't even reach her anymore.

I would be lying if I said that I hadn't seen this day coming. I saw the signs. I just chose to ignore them. I was scared. Rae was all I had. I was scared of having to be greeted with the feeling of being alone again...

"Fay?" said Rae softly. "Fay please say something."

I snapped out of my thoughts and lifted up my head to face her properly, immediately regretting it. Her once vibrant chestnut brown eyes seemed dull as it was filled with sorrow and tears that refused to fall.

"Rae, please. Dont do this," I said underneath my breath, my voice cracking as I felt myself breaking into tears.

"Fay I'm sorry but our time ends here. I really loved you," she said as she turned her head from me and played with a strand of her curly dark brown hair.

Loved.

She loved me. Her love for me was no longer there. It was gone now.

She stood up from the bench we were both sitting on and turned towards me.

"Goodbye Fay."

And that was the last thing she said to me.

That was how my first love ended. On a cold Winter evening...