Once Again [Unedited]

- 4 -

A/N: Zachary is nonbinary. Their pronouns are they/them.

Less than 10 minutes later, the front door of Julie's house was ripped open disturbing our very serious conversation on which Mother Mother song we considered most legendary.

We looked towards the direction of the disturbance to see the beautiful twins themselves standing in all their glory by the door.

"You!" growled Zachary.

"Wench!" growled Dahlia.

I unconsciously gulped.

They both marched towards where I was sitting in the kitchen, making sure to slam the front door behind them.

I flinched waiting to get the loud lecture I was expecting to come from both of their mouths...

...But was left surprised with the new sudden embrace of a bone crushing hug from both of them.

"We were worried sick about you. You know that right?" Zachary mumbled into the embrace.

"I know," I said in reply to Zachary.

"I really thought you were going to do something drastic," sniffled Dahlia.

I mean I was but I suddenly didn't have the guts to do so.

"I wouldn't," I lied as I hugged them tighter.

...

"...and that was how we split," I said as I finished telling them the story of what happened between Rae and I that Winter evening.

Julie was rubbing my back to comfort me.

I looked at her and gave her a small smile to show her my gratitude.

She nodded her head in reply.

"The both of you guys time together was cute but I guess not all good things are meant to last forever," said Dahlia in response.

"Fay, it's fine to be heartbroken with how this all turned out but sweets, you can't consider this breakup the end of your life," said Zachary.

Zachary was known to be one of the wisest ones of our group and their advice never once disappointed.

They took my hands in theirs and looked to me, "I know you love Raene, but you can't be like this forever."

They gave me a small smile, "It's time to let go of her now Fay. Stop allowing yourself to be imprisoned by all the memories you have left of her. Let go."

They let go of my hands and I looked towards them, tears now in my eyes.

I looked towards Dahlia, she nodded in agreement. I turned towards Julie, she gave me one of her warm smiles. This time it was real.

Zachary was right. It's time to let go. To let go of Rae.

.....

"Rae, you sure you okay?" I said worriedly as I talked to her on the phone. "You haven't been talking much lately. It's almost as if I can never get through to you."

"I'm fine Fay," she said curtly.

"You don't sound fine though. Is it because of our parents finding ou-" I said as I started to pick my fingers.

"It's not, Fay," she cut me off. "It's not your parents so can we leave it at that. Please."

Her voice sounded desperate. As if she was begging me to drop it.

"Okay Rae," I whispered back.

"I'm tired so I'll talk to you tomorrow okay? Love you," she said in reply.

"Love you too," I mumbled back to her before ending the call.

I looked towards the now blank screen of my phone. Tears now flooding my eyes as I realized that something was wrong and I didn't even know how to fix it and save our relationship.

.....

"Try to let go Fay," Zachary said from beside me.

They're right.

It's time to stop hiding behind the shadows of Raene.

...

I was now on my skateboard speeding down the street of my quiet and almost vacant town. My earphones was on blast as I played 505 by Arctic Monkeys.

I had left Julie's house 10 minutes ago for if I stayed any longer I knew my parents would kill me. Still I refused her offer of giving me a ride home. I wanted a little time to myself before entering that uncomfortable household.

I felt myself starting to nod my head as I reached my favourite part of the song.

But I crumble completely when you cry
It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

At this line I found myself being taken back to the day when Rae and I split. It was the first day I've ever seen her cry. Her face was always fixed with a smile or her signature smirk.

I'm always just about to go and spoil the surprise
Take my hands off of your eyes too soon

I slowed down as I saw myself coming closer and closer to where my house was.

I'm going back to 505
If it's a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive
In my imagination, your waiting lying on your side
With your hands between your thighs and a smile.

I was now in front of my house as the song started to take its closure.

I looked to my side, looking straight at the lawn which was located at the front of my house. Rae and I would always sit down here and do our homework together.

In my mind I pictured her there, with her normal boisterous laugh and wide smile. She was most likely laughing at one of my lame jokes.

Goodbye Rae.

I blinked and looked at the empty grass, then opened the front door to my house and went inside.