Friday I'm In Love

△ 𝐒𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 △

The next time he saw Gerard was a month later. Frank had let Pete keep the apartment, they'd skittered around each other while the boxes were packed and kissed goodbye without another word. He'd managed to live out of his van for a while before moving in with Patrick in the spare room. It wasn't much, two musicians cramped into an apartment, but it was better than the streets. From what he'd heard, Pete was being transferred to some fancy new hospital in Chicago where he could be closer to his parents. He was happy for him. 

At least that's what he told himself. 

Frank took another swig of his beer. He missed Pete; how could he not? They had been together for nearly ten years and Frank has ruined everything in a matter of minutes. Who was he kidding, Pete had always been too good for him. Hell, he was a doctor! Frank barely scraped by high school and landed a job at a bar. So there he sat, exhausted and alone, the black nail varnish chipping off his nails and his jeans fraying at the knees. He hunched over his book and peeled a fragile layer of skin off his lips, wincing as the skin underneath stung and bled into his mouth. 

"Hey stranger." a familiar voice chimed through the noise with a gentle tap on his shoulder. "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" Gerard smiled playfully as he slid into the stool beside Frank. 

"Can I help you?" Frank sighed as he took another sip of his beer.

"I don't know, can you? I'm looking for this really beautiful guy, about 5'6 with these sexy tattoos in a Misfits shirt. Black hair, the most stunning eyes-" 

He scowled. 

"Oh come on, Frank what's got your panties in a twist?" Gerard asked, stealing his attention from the book on the bar. "Seriously, I haven't seen you in ages. It was Mikey who said you'd be here, Mikey!" 

Frank ignored him.

"If this is about what I said... Frank, I'm so sorry-" "

"I'm not fucking mad, Gerard. Jesus Christ do you know how fucking long I wanted to hear those words? Years. Then I screwed nine years of a relationship up. You just... you fucking swaggered into my house and re-ruined my life." Frank groaned, slamming his book shut and handing Gerard his beer. Gerard took the bottle, staring at him strangely for a few moments before he's realized what they'd done. It had been so easy, neither had meant to fall back into the rhythm that they'd abandoned so long ago.

"I did actually come here to make ends meet," Gerard said as he brought the bottle to his lips and took a swig. "I'm sorry about Pete, I didn't think I could screw up so bad. Usually I'm just dropping in and out of AA meetings and throwing up in bathrooms. I've never been the homewrecker before." he continued, handing the bottle back with a sad smile. Frank took it, their fingertips grazing as he took the bottle. Gerard bit back a small smile when he saw Frank's nails, clearing his throat instead. "Do you still smoke?"

They found themselves in the alley at the back of the bar, leaning against the red brick wall and staring up at the night sky. Frank handed Gerard the cigarette silently, his eyes shut as he exhaled the cloud of smoke from his lungs. They didn't speak. They weren't ready to. They were Gerard's cigarettes with Frank's Zippo lighter, just as it always had been. Neither was quite ready to let go. They'd done this thousands of times, sneaked out when Mikey was asleep, and lit cigarettes behind his parent's garage. It was the garage or the back of the school, neither mattered much but it was something.

Frank was the one to open his eyes, he turned to see Gerard smiling back at him with the cigarette between his index and middle finger. "You always did that, I never knew why." Gerard said.

"You uh... you look really beautiful when you don't think anyone's watching," Frank replied quietly. "When you're not purposefully trying to be an asshole." he added cheekily, earning him a gentle smack to the shoulder.

They grinned for a moment before they looked around. "I miss this, y'know? Us just... joking around. It's too fucking weird when it's tense." 

"How's Mikey?" 

"Oh my god don't even go there. I barely see him anymore! He's always at Ray's or that drag bar-"

Frank laughed. "Ruby Dracula? Fuck, dude, no wonder Ray ditched me for karaoke Saturday last week."

"Yeah it's not every day when your roommate in college hooks up with your brother." Gerard muttered as he scrunched his nose up. "I can't complain, at least it's not in the room nextdoor anymore."

"Have you got your own place?"

"Yeah, I used the money from mom. How about you?"

"I've been camping out at Patrick's for the last month, there's only so many parking fines you can get for loitering y'know?"

"You can stay at mine." Gerard said suddenly before crushing the cigarette under his boot and clearing his throat. "I mean- if you want to. I know things are kinda... shit between us?"

"Sure."