This Isn't The End [Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader]

•Chapter 19•

Ellie's P.O.V.
     It's been the longest month of my life. One month since they stole her. I was sitting on my couch sharpening my blade. Jackson had been on absolute lockdown since that night, no way in no way out other than patrols. However they wouldn't let me go out on patrols. They knew I would take Atlas and go.  
     Tomorrow I was leaving. I couldn't take it anymore even if I had to blast a hole in the side of Jackson to get out. She was beginning to fade from our home. Her scent almost gone from my bedsheets, her clothes unmoved from their place in my closet, her guns and knives still wherever she discarded them.  A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I opened the door, it was Joel who was just staring at me and then to the knife in my hand.
     "I take it you're leaving tomorrow then." He said gruffly. I knew he wouldn't approve but maybe I could convince him not to tell Maria.
     "Yes." I curled my lip at him. "She's been gone for exactly a month and nobody's even gone to look for her. She could be anywhere in the country, I should've left the day I woke up." I rambled. The panic and rage rising in my voice. Those memories haunted me every night. Sometimes I looked up at the moon in wonder and hope she was looking at it too. I miss her.
     "We've been looking. We knew someday you'd get sick of waiting." Joel shrugged. I tried to brush off the shock as quickly as possible. They had been looking and asking around about her. It made my heart crack just a bit and hopefully they knew where she was.
     "Do you know where she is?" I asked trying to keep the edge of desperation out of my voice. Joel sighed and motioned if he could come inside. I nodded eagerly and followed him to my dining room where we sat next to each other. It felt almost normal, almost.
      "We've heard whispers on them holding her in an old Firefly outpost in Ohio. They've been waiting for someone to come get her, they want something. We just don't know what." Joel grumbled, it seemed he was attached to (YN) as well. I'm not sure what they talked about that day we got back from Idaho, but I would owe him for the rest of my life for convincing her to go easy on me.
      "I'm leaving tomorrow." I said eagerly, I could almost hear her laughter echoing in my home again. I still meant what I said that day they stole her.
"If we don't die I'm going to marry you."
"Not alone. I got Maria to let Dina and Jesse go with you." Joel never used that tone of voice unless there was no arguing with him. I would be glad for the backup. There was no doubt in my head that there was more than seven of them now.
"Thank you." I breathed in relief, I was going to get her. I was bringing (YN) home.
I didn't sleep through the night. I could only keep replaying that night in my mind over and over again. What could I have done to save her from whatever torture she was enduring right this second.
"Hello Abigail." (YN) said cooly. She always was so confident and cocky. My heart leapt into my throat as I watched her stand her ground. Before I could even move to go after her the woman with the braid spoke over the wails of the man (YN) just shot the kneecap off of.
"Goodbye (YN)." Abby replied and then she fired a single shot. I watched in horror as (YN) plucked the dart from her chest. The wrath in her eyes would haunt me forever. But when she collapsed on the ground I leapt forward following her movements. I fired a single shot watching it with total satisfaction as it landed in the man's shoulder. He seemed to be Abby's right hand man, injuring him felt good.
"Don't you fucking touch her." I snarled at them. They all aimed their weaponry at me. Joel, Maria, and Tommy shaking their heads at me.
"Listen. I have no issues with you. We got what we wanted. If you let us leave without problem we will give you these three." Abby negotiated. I felt the conflict rise in me. Either way whoever she took and kept would result in me hunting them down.
"You're not leaving with anyone. Don't you fucking touch her." I shouted as a different man reached for (YN)'s limp form.
"Times up." And Abby fired a dart at me and it all went dark.
When I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine and (YN) was lounging in the chair next to me I knew they had taken her and left Joel, Tommy, and Maria. She left them a message for me.
Dear Ellie Williams,
Do not come after us. Do not look for us. Do not even think about us ever again. For next time there will be no negotiation.
-Abby.
I don't think the missing her would ever leave. It's like this hole in my heart where she used to be. Even though we had that fight before, I feel like we would be okay someday. I want to live outside of Jackson with her, somewhere close enough we can visit but far enough she can have her freedom. I didn't sleep for a long while, I could only watch the night sky out my window and think about how I was going to get her back.

     When I woke up the next morning it was because someone was banging on my door. I groaned reaching across the bed for (YN), only to find those cold sheets greeting me. I snapped awake marching through my living room seeing Jesse and Dina standing on my front porch. I opened the door and let them inside.
     "I'll get dressed. I already have a bag packed and everything." I yawned.
     "You're sure you want to do this?" Dina asked.
     "Yes. And you guys don't have to come with me if you don't want to, I don't want anyone getting hurt." I rambled as I walked down the hallway to my room.
     "We volunteered for this. There's no way we were going to let you go and get (YN) on your own." Jesse called back. A selfish part of me was happy they would be coming with, even if they could get hurt.  When I emerged from my bedroom they had a map splayed across the coffee table. My breath hitched as I look at (YN)'s map spread out, her handwriting scrawled messily across it with little notes and drawings. The edges tattered and torn, holes in a few spots, it was her most prized possession.
"Where did you guys find this." I said quietly. Dina's eyes met mine I could see the concern in them.
"(YN) gave it to Joel, he gave it to us." Jesse explained quickly. That day they had talked about my immunity, she gave him this. (YN) knew someday they'd come for her and she left something behind for me to find her.
"She loves this map more than anything else, she marked everywhere she went. I'm sure she put on here where they took her, especially if Joel had it." I sniffled, fighting back tears as I tried to think around the swell of emotions as I stared at her notes.
"I don't think she loved it more than anything." Dina mused putting a hand on my shoulder. "Look." And Dina pointed out notes about me (YN) had written down.
Old outpost cabin, Ellie's spot #1
Baldwin Manor, Ellie's spot #2
The bookstore (with a heart around it)
Home (Jackson had been crossed out)
    Tears began to flow freely down my face as I kept reading. On the back of the map (YN) made a list of places she wanted to show me one day. Each carefree heart drawn, every time my name appeared on the map, every memory scrawled on the sides was kindling to the fire in my veins. Finally I saw it, in Ohio a little angry face "Fireflies". I pointed to it wiping my tears with the other hand.
     "There. Let's go before we lose more light."