Alarm Clock - Ereri/Riren (Re-uploaded)

Chapter 33

I started hanging out with my friends again and apologized for ghosting them. They didn't really hold a grudge when it came to it though. I was grateful that they understood why I acted that way. Armin had left back to Rose Academy after spring break. We never ended up talking like he wanted to. I had seen Levi around the halls of the school but never in math class. He had apparently switched classrooms and was doing AP math now. Suited him better anyways. I couldn't express how fortunate I was to have gotten close to Isabel when Levi and I were dating. I was in fact following Zeke's advice, and taking some time away from all of the romance drama, but it didn't take away from the fact that I still loved and cared for Levi. I had texted Isabel and Furlan to check up on him and make sure he was eating and sleeping alright. I didn't want him to land in the hospital again because of me. Luckily, they were keeping tabs on him but I made sure not to invade too much and would only check in once a week. My one concern was his sleep. He was good at hiding it most of the time so it was nearly impossible to tell whether he was fully rested. Sometimes I would briefly glance over at his table to see if he was actually eating. And he was. Thank god he was. I trusted Isabel and Furlan, maybe even Hange and Erwin ss well to make sure that continued during the summer. But I wasn't too worried, because we both seemed to be in the same headspace, and mine was alright for now. I wondered if he ever thought of me. I wondered if he worried about me like I did him. But I shouldn't. Right now I was taking time for myself. And I had to say, it felt good not having some weird emotional weight attached to everything I did. Although I missed Armin being in the band, I was having way too much fun with my new guitar, (or Maria as I liked to call her) and it was good to be able to distance myself from him in my music and my life.

Zeke was staying for the entire summer, not only to try and make amends with dad but also because he wanted to make sure I was back on my feet. It was nice to have him around. He helped me study for finals since he had a bunch of free time and he came to all my band practices. He said I had gotten a lot better since he last saw me. Zeke was a violinist up till he graduated highschool so I used to play piano with him all the time and I really respected him as a musician. That's why it meant a lot when he complimented me. He even gave the band feedback. Connie and Sasha really liked him. They would always get distracted and goof off. Mikasa and Zeke used to be really close actually, so I was happy to see him spending more time with her too. And then Jean and Marco were of course just making out the whole time. And then, I graduated.

"Little bro."

"Yeah?" I was sitting on my bed, writing the notes to a melody in my head that had appeared in that moment on some paper. Mikasa and Zeke were playing a card game on my bedroom floor.

"What's this Levi guy like anyway?" although I was surprised by his question, and Mikasa seemed to be a bit too, it didn't trigger me much. Levi was still on my mind a lot. And Zeke's sudden mention of him trailed me down a bunch of the memories we had shared months ago. Like that time he got ice cream on his nose and I licked it off and he got super embarrassed because we were in public. Or that time he drunk called me telling me how horny he was. Or that time he walked with me in the hallways after math class explaining the three major areas of philosophy. I couldn't help but silently grin. I didn't stop writing down music notes and kept the melody playing in my head as I answered the question.

"He's really great." it was a simple answer, but it's exactly how I felt about him.

"Care to be more specific? Go fish!" I heard him explain.

"I don't know he's just really great. What else do you wanna hear?"

"Go fish!" Mikasa shouted. She was getting competitive over this small game and wasn't really paying attention.

"Is he smart?"

"He's brilliant."

"Is he good at anything?"

"Everything."

"Yeah he's not really exaggerating with that one actually." chimed in Mikasa. "Go fish!" I continued inscribing music and baselines to go with it. I knew that this stupid smile was still on my face as I thought more about everything he was good at. I recalled this one painting he did that I particularly admired. It hung above his coffee table near his living room.

"So he's good at everything huh? Like Mika?" I saw Mikasa out of the corner of my eye playfully hit Zeke on the shoulder. "Can he translate an entire english novel to latin?" he asked, confident that he had got me.

"He speaks 5 languages, Latin included." I replied.

"Really?! Can he build a robot?"

"He built a small robot named Jerry at the age of 14 out of scrap materials he found behind his foster home cause he had nothing else to do."

"Wait foster home? Is he lying, Mikasa?" I assumed she shook her head but I was too focused to check. "So he is a bit more on the intellectual side, I bet he doesn't do anything artsy."

"He does. He says his art is inspired by philosophical concepts." Mikasa said, as she bit into the croissant that was beside her.

"First of all, what the hell? Second of all, what kind of highschool student studies philosophy and makes art about it for fun?"

"Levi does." I got up from my bed, checking my sheet music for any mistakes.

"Hey, where are you going?" Zeke shouted so he could be heard from my room as I walked down the hall and to the living room, eyes still glued to the sheet music and a pencil behind my ear. I didn't answer. I made it to the living room and sat down on the piano stool, placing the sheet music on the stand. I counted myself in and took a breath before I began playing the classical style ballade I had just put together. It felt natural, routine like. All I could think about as I played was the rare sight that was Levi's smile. The notes felt like they were seeping into my bloodstream as I crescendos into the next measure. My heart pulsated to the beat as I got lost in memories and closed my eyes. Every interaction I could have possibly remember with him, the good, the bad, the heart wrenchingly dramatic was all laid out on the keyboard. And it painted that picture I saw on New Years Eve, the Shakespearean painting with little cracks and slight peeling, the fireworks and the bubbling feeling I would feel in my chest that could be triggered by the mere sight of him. And on the last note, the echo sounded out throughout the living room before terminally fizzling out. I took a moment before I opened my eyes, and when I did, I saw Mikasa, Zeke and my parents staring at me each with their mouths parted in shock. My mother was teary eyed and was holding her hands to her heart.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Clueless as to why they were all of a sudden so emotional.

"Liebchen, you're playing the piano again." my mother said.

"I am?" I was? But then it hit me, that I had actually been playing the piano. And I wasn't crying. I had been playing the piano like I was able to all those years ago. I had felt the same passion and love for it that I did back then, as if it was never lost. I wasn't playing for some love interest that had requested it, not for a dumb competition, not for a monster who saw me as nothing but a body he could take advantage, but for myself. I was playing for myself, because I wanted to. I was playing because I wanted to, and I loved it again. I then turned to the sheet music, in disbelief I had just written all that. It felt like a daze or a foggy memory. It was then that I brought my attention to the top of the page and realized I had named the song, after Levi.