Behind The Camera

Chapter 22

**JENNIE'S POV**

After I talked to Jisoo and confessed to her everything I go to my room to think everything she said.

Jisoo has a point in everything. I need to do the right thing I need to let go Lisa and this feelings. I feel heavyness in my chest and my eyes started to feel heavy again...

It really hurts.

This is so unfair! There's so many people out there but why we need to experience this? Why it has to be Lisa? Why I love her?

Tears started to fall down to my cheeks.

"Jennie, you can do this. You have to choose Lisa's dream and your dreams." I said to myself as I drying my tears.

I'm sorry Lisa. I will love you. You are my first love.

You will be special in my heart no matter what happen.

——

**LISA'S POV**

Rosé left twenty minutes ago and I am still here in my room. I already wash my self and change my clothes into night clothes.

I wonder if Jennie and I will talked later just like what she said. I don't know but somehow I feel excited to talk to her again. I am happy and confuse after she confessed to me that she loves me, maybe later I will confessed to her too and kiss her.

I feel my face heated up as I recall Jennie's kiss earlier.

"Stop it Lisa! Don't think about the kiss!" I said to myself while smiling like an idiot.

But I really need to clear everything. I need to confirm Jennie's true feelings. And if she really meant it. I'll take the risk to be with her even if we need to hide it. I'll do everything for my Jennie.

I snap out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ring with a text message.

Jennie-Unnie😻
-Lisa, are you still awake?

I startled happily with Jennie's text message. This is it! I typed happily to send her a reply

-Jennie-unnie. I'm still awake. I'm waiting to your text actually 😁

After 1minute I heard my phone ring again.

Jennie-Unnie😻
-Good. Can we talk? I'm here now infront of your door.

I immediately jump out of my bed and nervously open the door.

I saw Jennie standing infront of me wearing her PJ. She smiled at me and I smiled back nervously, I swallowed my saliva really hard like a nervous cat. She's so beautiful in my eyes.

"Uhm Lisa, can I come in?" She said while waving her hands to my face.

Stupid! Don't stare at her Lisa!

"Uh-uhm sorry Jennie-unnie, yes please! Come in hehe" I nervously said, I can see myself right now like an idiot.

I followed her inside and she sat down on my bed comfortably.

"Lisa can you uhm close the door?" Aissh! Right! I forgot to close the door! Stupid!

Get yourself together Lisa! You can do it!

"Yeah right! Sorry I forgot." I said while rubbing my nape nervously.

I immediately close my door and turn around to face Jennie. She's looking at me with a smile on her face. But I noticed her eyes was kinda sad. Or it was just my imagination?

"Come here Lisa, sit beside me." She said while tapping the bed.

I slowly sat down beside her and we are now facing each other like two feet away.

"Uhm Lisa. The reason I came here is because about what happen earlier."

"You see Lisa. I'm sorry If I gave a wrong impression. I'm sorry If I kissed you, I'm really sorry. Please don't take it seriously"

I am confused right now, and what are she's apologizing for?

"Look Lisa, I'm sorry if I-"

"Jennie, I don't understand"

I cut her words because I feel It will really hurt so bad.

"Lisa, the kiss earlier was a mistake, I shouldn't do it" she said calmly.

I can't believe it. I can feel my chest is getting heavy

"Jennie, but you said you love me right? And I love you too. I really love you." My voice is cracking right now as I holding my tears to run down.

I feel it again the pain.

"Lisa, yes I love you. But I love you as my friend only and about the kiss I'm sorry I just want to comfort you that time. You really cried hard and I... I got panicked i don't know what to do so I just kissed you."

Her explanations blew me away in a bad way. I don't really believe it. So I'm just the only one thinking fantasy right now. I thought It's real. I thought that kiss was really something.

"So It's just nothing? But I felt it, It was real. Jennie." I'm holding back my tears right now. I don't want to cry.

"Sorry Lisa. I'm sorry."

"But Jennie, I like you, I really like you. I love you" I bursted out my feelings to her. I just can't help it anymore as well as my tears. Stupid tears!

"I appreciate it Lisa. But you see, we are both girls here. And I understand It's just a phase of your life. And don't worry we're still friends, and we are a group now we have a lot of things to do, to achieve our dreams." She said then she hold my hands to comfort me.

Jennie is right. I'm just so stupid to take everything seriously, and to think she really loves me but the truth is she really love me as her friend only. I don't have the right to be upset to her.

You are just so stupid Lisa! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Yeah you are right. I'm sorry If I take things seriously, and yeah... it's just a phase of my life it will pass on." I said while wiping my tears. I can still feel the hurt inside of my chest but I need to act okay now. I need to overcome this and show to her I'm okay.

Just fake it, until you make it.

"Okay good! So we're okay now? Just tell me if anything that happened bothers you. I'm still here. I'm still your friend, okay Lisa?" She said smiling at me

"Yeah of course! I'm just too dumb in everything hehe." I said while faking my laughed

"Because you are a monkey! Haha. Okay Lisa! Here's I want you to do. I want you to focus to your dreams. Focus to your trainings because I really want to see you in the future achieving everything you want. Can you do that?" She said while cupping my cheeks. I don't know if I misheard it but her voice was like cracking and her eyes are more like glassy now.

"Unnie, yes I will do that. And you too. I just want your happiness unnie. I want beautiful things in your life. I just want to see you happy." I Genuinely smiled to her and she smiled back to me.

I don't know but I still feel pain in my chest as I am looking to her eyes.

"Okay, go to sleep now Limario, we have an early practice tomorrow. And thank you. You have a good heart Lisa. Good night." She hugged me so tight very quick and left.

Right after she left, I feel my knees and body becomes weak. I sat on the floor and I can't control my emotions anymore.

I cried hard all night. While hugging my knees.

—-

First heartbreak was the worst.