Two in a Million | Auslly

Twenty Two: Endeavors & Excitement

june 2024

Ally stared at the three plastic sticks sitting face down on the counter. She hesitantly reached out and flipped the first one over, holding her breath.

Negative.

Frustrated, she chucked it in the trash. Ally groaned as she turned the other two over just to find the same result.

Negative.

Negative.

Ally's lip trembled, she felt a sob escape her throat, leaned up against the counter, limbs shaking, tears spilling onto the off-white granite. She let herself slide down against the back of the cabinet, buried her head in her arms.

It shouldn't be taking this long. It didn't take this long the first time, so why the hell is it taking so long?

She and Austin had talked about giving Ava a younger sibling since she was only a few months old. But Ally had never considered what would happen if they couldn't, somehow. She probably wouldn't be able to forgive herself. Several people they knew— family friends, extended relatives— had dealt with fertility issues in the past, and her heart always dropped when they told her about it but she never thought it would happen to her. She and Austin were supposed to be able to do this— to have kids, to lead a happy, healthy life and be successful. Her worst fear was that they would have to go through losing another baby because something was wrong with her, like they had just under three years ago.

Ally heard the garage door open and gulped, knowing this meant that Austin was home. She quickly ripped several squares of toilet paper off of the roll, bundled them up, and set the wad of tissue on top of the three negative pregnancy tests. Austin didn't need to know she was hurting. That she had spent over $50 on at-home pregnancy tests, and had been taking them every week, even though startup costs for the record company and Austin's tuition expenses had been sucking up all their money. He didn't need to know that her eyes flooded with tears and a gut-wrenching ache filled her body every time somebody they knew announced they were having another kid, when she and Austin had been trying for over six months to no avail. She could keep all of this to herself.

We don't even have the money for another kid right now. Why am I so upset about this?

With everything they had been putting their money into lately, both for their business and personal lives, it had forced them to dip into the "emergency funds," for things like food and house payments. This account had been set up by Ally after her first tour in high school, and every once in a while she added money to it, so it could be set aside for future purposes. She added quite a bit after their wedding, and every time their parents gave them money for Christmas, birthdays, and the like. There was a fair amount in it, since it had earned some interest over time, but still, she knew it wouldn't last forever. She had been getting more and more stressed about finances lately and knew it was only a matter of time before they would have to sit down and figure out what to cut back on, what they could live without. Austin's tuition payments had been adding up, too, which wasn't exactly helping.

Ally bit her lip, composing herself enough to exit the bathroom and sit down on the bed. Sure, she was devastated, but that didn't mean that she couldn't help Austin work on their newest single. She just had to pretend like nothing was wrong. It's nothing she hadn't done before.

Oh, who am I kidding? Austin can read me like a book.

Actually, he's never really read a book before. But he can read me...like a piece of sheet music. She nodded. That was a good enough analogy.

"Ally, I'm home!" he yelled from the kitchen. "I'll be in the studio. Come down when you're ready."

After much debate between Austin and his conscience, he had decided to take a temporary break from classes at the University of Miami the year before to focus on giving Ally and Ava his attention, but once Ava had turned about one and a half, Ally had told him that he should go back, so he could be completely done before they had another kid. Austin had been grateful for the break, and had used it to catch up on some much-needed family time with Ally and Ava. His classes were not all offered online, though, and he dreaded being away from them when he did have to leave. Ally kept encouraging him that all of this would be worth it, that she could handle taking care of Ava while he earned his degree because it was a worthwhile investment; it would help provide for their future.