CHASING PAVEMENTS ⇒ wolfstar

EPILOGUE IV

SHUT OUT THE LIGHT
PUT ME THROUGH HELL AGAIN
I MISS THE FIRE
LET'S BURN THE OTHER END
WITH NO END IN SIGHT
COME ON AND BREAK ME DOWN
I'LL LET YOU RUIN MY DAY
FLOW THROUGH MY VEINS
I NEED A FIX
BITTER AND SICK
- Bitter And Sick, One Two

Elliot is seven when Remus decides to do it, Rowan breaking for five and Minnie growing taller each day at three, growing into quite the yapping toddler, if Remus had anything to say about it.

He had never entertained the thought of visiting Sirius. Not until now. Remus felt it would be countable for some sort of disrespect on all of his deceased friends behalves. How could he visit the one person who enforced their deaths? That was all until Remus awoken, the clock striking towards thirty eight minutes past four in the morning.

When he had jolted upwards, pulling the duvets with him, Remus' entire body was throbbing with sweat, his face dressed in the wetness of freshly fallen tears. He had gasped for air, seemingly unable to revive himself. The dream itself hadn't been all that scary, in fact; it had been rather wonderful. Until it wasn't so wonderful anymore.

He and Sirius had been hand in hand, roaming the still, quiet hallways of Hogwarts in the tenderness of a late winters night. They trailed around the corridors until they eventually stumbled upon mounds upon mounds of what looked to be bodies. Piled high and mighty, the bodies seemed to stare with haunting lifeless eyes at the two boys. Remus had screamed, it had felt so real, his throat blooded by his cries, as the bodies seemed to take the form of not only Lily and James; but Peter, Marlene, Dorcas, even Regulus was there.

Three small bodies had caught Remus' attention. Chared and lifeless, void of any sort of life, Elliot, Rowan and Minnie's much smaller body lay crumpled against the Hogwarts floor.

Remus had lunged for them, Sirius had pulled him back but it appears Remus' mind could not have even phantomed the mere idea of his children in harms way as he had woken up instantly, drenched in a cold sweat and even more icy tears. He had sobbed for hours, had wandered Honeycomb Perch until the earlier hours of seven in the morning.

Remus knows he must have checked on his son and daughters an innumerable amount of times. His heart racing every time he so much as thought Rowan's chest wasn't rising in his sleep.

Remus hasn't dreamt in a long time.

Not since the abrupt, spacey dream he had had when Minnie was a newborn. The dream where he had encountered a loopy Lily and an even ditzier James. It had left Remus disoriented for days, simply wondering which part of his grief stricken brain had manipulated him into thinking he had summoned the spirits of his dead friends. His very dead friends.