Where your loyalties lie (Two New Bartons book 2) (completed)

Monster - Wanda

I have a lot of time to think on my way to San Francisco. I consider Pietro's point of view of Lagos, of the Accords. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. He wasn't there when I blew up that building. He didn't see how I hesitated before launching Rumlow into the air. To him, it would have looked like I stopped lifting him at the moment I did because I wanted to. He wouldn't have seen how the bomb was already going off when I stopped it. He wouldn't know that was as far as I could get him before the bomb got too powerful for me. And even if he did see the momentary pause, what would he make of it? It wouldn't look like I was confused, which was the reason for the hesitation. It would just look like I was waiting till the last second to get him out of the way. And what of my outburst when I was mad at him? I tried to attack him! My own brother! I could've killed him! What would that look like to him, I wonder? 

Levitating Lang carefully in front of me, I run over to the van, weaving through cars and lifting Lang over them. I want to get out of here to hide somewhere on board the ferry before the other two come back. I'd like to avoid the awkward conversation that will surely follow being spotted.

I don't notice the familiar, warm, safe feeling in the pit of my stomach until it's too late. I lower Lang down into the back of the van, then look up to back away. My eyes snare on to Pietro's instantly, and panic flares up inside me.

"Wanda," he murmurs, tugging on his seatbelt.

I turn, slam the door and run. I'm halfway up the ramp to the next level before Pietro speeds in front of me. By the way the faint conversations drifting down from above stops, I know I'm in a speed bubble.

I freeze and lower my eyes to the ground. I'm too ashamed too look at him. 

My brother grabs my arms and says, "Wanda, listen to me. I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean it, I promise."

But I know it's a lie. It has to be. 

"Yes, you did," I whisper, unable to keep my tears in a second longer. "And you're right."

He stares at me for a second, shocked, then says, "What are you talking about?"

"You're right," I repeat. "You're right. Lagos was my fault. And Sokovia. And Hydra. Everything." I back away from him. "It's all my fault." I collapse to my knees. 

"No," Pietro says, dropping down next to me. "No, it's not."

I nod, a tiny chuckle breaking through the sobs. "It is. It's all my fault, and you've been living with the consequences. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

I can feel his concern billowing off him like smoke. It's almost suffocating. 

"Even the Sokovia Accords wouldn't exist if it weren't for me. If I weren't a-" I pause to choke out a particularly heavy sob. "-a monster."

"You're not a monster!" Pietro gasps.

"I am! Don't try to deny it, you know it's true!"

"It's not true! Who told you that?!"

"No one had to. I worked it out myself."

"Wanda, you are many things," he says. "but a monster is not one of them."

"How can you be sure?" I sniff.

Pietro rolls his eyes and hugs me tight. "Because I've known you your whole life."

"Our whole life," I correct him.

"Your whole life," he repeats. "I'm twelve minutes older than you, remember?"

That earns him a tiny laugh. 

"If you were a monster, I think I would have noticed by know."

I shake my head and pull away from his embrace. "Would you?"

"Of course I would. I love you too much to miss something like that."

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to sort through my feelings, try to focus on just one. "How?"

"How what?"

"How do you love me? After everything I've done? Everything I've done to you?"

Pietro sighs. "Because you're my sister. It's my job."

"Well, you can stop. I don't deserve it."

"'Deserve' has nothing to do with it."

"Stop!" I jump to my feet, still fighting my emotions into submission. I don't know what I'm feeling, and that scares me. I try to focus on one thing, hoping it'll give me an emotion to cling to, and all that comes up is Incidents like Lagos. "Stop being nice to me. You don't mean it! I know you don't!"

I don't know which emotions are mine and which are his anymore. I can't tell them apart. We are one being with a million conflicting emotions, both of us trying desperately to break free, to pull apart. 

"Of course I do!" Pietro says, getting up, too. "Why wouldn't I?! Because you're evil?!"

"Yes!"

"Well, you're not. And nothing you say will convince me otherwise!"

Before I can yell back, Clint runs down the ramp, looking worried. He's not moving at slow motion, which means that either my or Pietro's powers set it back to normal without us noticing.

"Wanda?" he gasps when he sees me. "What's going on?"

I turn away so he doesn't see my tears and walk back to the van. I can hear the other two whispering behind me, but I ignore them. I magic open the big back door of the van, step in and sit down in the back corner, opposite to where Lang is sleeping peacefully. 

A moment later, Clint comes to sit next to me. He doesn't say anything, just takes my hand in his and lets me lean my head on his shoulder. Before long, I fall asleep like that.

Word count: 933

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-Ashlley