The love that I gave you

16. break or make

(Trigger warning suicide)

*Gravity*

The same thoughts pound my head till morning.
Should i break up with him?
Would he be safer?
Would he be better off without me?
Probably.
For the next week that's all i think about. As I'm on my period i stay in my room the entire time and Justice doesn't complain. He helps me through it all. And i hate it, why does he have to make it so hard? Maybe i just won't break up with him....
Maybe i will....
Should i?
Should i not?
Unknown: *attached photo* it's been a week. If you don't break up with him maybe we will put a little drug in his drink. Jog your memory?
Unknown: kill yourself. Waste of space.
Me: okay😊
I turn my phone off and take a deep breath. Okay. I have to. The person has literally sent me a photo of us...a second ago.
I look out of the window and check to see if i can see anyone. Of course there isn't anyone.
Justice walks back into the room but i don't turn. Oh my god. Am i doing it?
Justice gives me a smile and my stomach twists.
'Since you're your no longer on your period i thought we could go out today, we co-'
'justice' i say.
He looks up at me.
'I can't.'
'You can't what?' He asks 'is something wrong? Are you hurt?' He approaches me but i stop him.
'No. Justice i...we can't...i'm breaking up with you' i say. I felt my heart physically crack. I did it.
'W...what?' He asks stunned.
'I break up with you' i say again.
'I...did i do something wrong? Is this a prank? No...you wouldn't do that....what? Sunshine tell me what's wrong' the concern in his voice breaks me even further.
'Nothing's wrong. I don't want you anymore' i say trying to act careless.
'What? Was it something i did?' He asks again.
And i utter the first words that came to my head.
'I cheated on you!' I shout and he looks at me stunned.
'No you didn't. I know you didn't. You wouldn't' he says, the trust still visible in his eyes.
'No i did. I don't want you. You were a bet. I never liked you' i say and he just stares at me stunned.
'Gravity...just tell me what's wrong hm? We can sort it out okay?' He tells me.
'I break up with you' i say again.
'I helped you because you were a bet. I cheated on you with Domico. I never even liked you' i could see the confusion and i felt an overwelming pain in my chest.
'Just go' i say and he stares at me with wide eyes.
'Gravity'
'GO!' I scream and he hugs me. No. No no no. He will get hurt if he stays with me. I close my eyes and breath in his sent for the last time and then push him away.
'Go away' i say and he leaves.
I fall the floor and cry. I claw at my chest, i wanted the pain to stop. Just make it stop. Please.

*Justice*
I go back to my room and sit on the bed. She...she cheated on me? I was a bet?
This can't be true. She's lying.
She was so different earlier and when i entered the room i realised that she had rid her face of any emotion.
No
Something had to be going on. She couldn't have cheated.
I wasn't a bet...right?
The rest of the week was awkward. Mum had gone with Gravity's mum on her business trip and dad had taken Emmy to Rome for a month. So it was just us.
I went to her room and was about to knock when i heard her crying. She was crying. I wanted to comfort her but i knew she would push me away.
Angela: hey baby;) you wanna come over tonight?
Me: no.
Angela: aw come on i know your single now ;)
Me: learn the difference between your and you're first
I threw my phone on the sofa. Who told her? I didn't. I know Gravity didn't, her phone has been sitting on the kitchen counter since we broke up...
Which means Angela had something to do with it...
Masie: hey! I was wondering do you know when Tyler is getting out?'
I felt so disgusted by her. Tyler tried to hurt Gravity and Masie still wants him?
I turn my phone off and turned around i heaed Gravity run down the stairs and snatch her phone from the counter and turned it on. Almost immediately her phone blew up with messages. She sprinted upstairs before i could even say anything i sigh and go up to my room. It's 11PM i lay down and try to sleep then I kind of just fiddle with my phone for a bit and i heard a crash.
I realise it came from Gravity's room and i sprint there. I open the door and see a broken mirror and window oh my god.
I see a note.

I'm sorry for everything.
-Gravity
Xx
I throw jacket on and sprint outside. Attached to that note was a photo of London bridge. I get i to a car and drive at full speed. I have to get there. I try calling her but she keeps declining the calls. It's late so there is no one around.
I drive faster and faster, nearly crashing.
I see a figure standing on the railing of the bridge. Oh god.
I'm going to be sick.
'Gravity! GRAVITY!' I scream and i jump out the car and sprint to her, i'm going to make it. I have to.
I see her turn her head and she smiles at me. She turns back and i get up to grab her waist.
But she falls.
I missed. I missed by a fraction of a second. I watch her fall and she disappears under the waves. I scream in agony.
I lost her.

Bet y'all didn't expect that!!!

I jolted up in my bed, i couldn't breath.
Gravity...she...
'Justice?' I look up and Gravity stands in my doorway alive.
I close my eyes and feel tears.
She's okay.
'Justice? Are...are you alright?' She asks cautiously.
'I thought you broke up with me because you don't care' i say between breaths and guilt flashes across her face.
'You were screaming. You screamed my name...i...i thought' she trailed off and turn to leave.
'Stay...please' i say and she hesitates, agony crosses her face.
'i...i can't' she mumbles
'Why?' I ask and she shakes her head.
'I just can't' she whispers.
'Please'
She closes her eyes for a second before walking towards me and gets under the covers. I pull her to me and bury my face in her neck, i hear her breath hitch.
She's alive.
That's what matters. My breathing begins to slow down and i feel her hand press against my heart. I hold on to her tightly.
Why did she let me go.

*Gravity*
I sat in my room staring at the ceiling. It had been a week since i broke up with Justice. I couldn't even look at him without feeling guilt.
I sigh and get up checking my phone. There were less Unknown numbers now that i had broken up with him.
Suddenly i hear a scream, it was terrible as if ripped from someone's core.
'GRAVITY!'
'GRAVITY!'
Another soul ripping scream. I leap up and sprint to Justice's room.
Oh my god.
Oh my god what if they got him.
I sprint into his room and he jolts up in his bed.
He was sweating and he was gulping in air.
'Justice?' I say did he have a dream?
He looks at me and his face floods with relief.
'Justice...are you alright?' I ask, i hate seeing him so...so broken.
'I thought you broke up with me because you don't care' he gasps out and a pain goes through me.
'You were screaming...you screamed my name. I...i thought...' I stopped. He couldn't know. I thought they got him.
I turn to leave but he calls out to me.
'Stay...please' he gasps
'I...i can't' i mumble
'Why?' He asks. I shake my head. I can't answer
'I just can't' i tell him
'Please?' He asks again, his voice was broken.
I close my eyes and breath in. Surely one night wouldn't hurt...right?
I walk over and get under the covers and he pulls me to him quickly and buries his head in the crook of my neck, he breaths in. He's shaking.
'You're alive' he mumbles softy.
Oh. Ohh. He did have a dream. I'm guessing i died someway or another. I place my hand against his racing heart and his breathing begins to slow.
I hug him back just as tightly. I didn't want to loose him either.
'Why?' He mutters into my neck.
'I have too' i whisper back.
'No you don't, whoever's bothering you enough to make you do this isn't as important to me as you are. I...i love you' he whispers and i freeze. My resolve was crumbling.
'I love you too' i whisper back and close my eyes. I was going to get hell for this. He hugs me closer as if he's scared that he will loose me.
'I love you but i can't do this' i tell him
'Why not. This is right' he mumbles and i close my eyes again and pull back, i hold his face in my hands,
'Please. I have to. I don't want you to get hurt' i tell him but he just leans forward and kisses me.