In the Flames of Desire

Chapter 1- A New Beginning

I AM REWRITING THIS IN THIRD PERSON AND ADDING A LOT MORE DETAIL BECAUSE I DONT LIKE HOW FAST IT WENT. IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ IT NOW KEEP IN MIND IM GOING TO BE CHANGING IT HEAVILY)

Deku

~~~~~

My mind was a terrifying place now. It was full of darkness and pain- an endless void of nothingness. I was alone. I still did what I had to do during the day, saving people throughout the city. Anywhere there was trouble, anywhere villains decided to cause trouble I was there to take care of it.

I was praised for my good work. I spoke in interviews, I signed autographs for kids that asked, and I collaborated with the police to make sure everything was going smoothly. I put on a good face for the people, so that their sense of safety never faltered.

And then I got home, alone, to my empty house, and I could barely stand before it all rushed out. I hadn't gone a single day since I left that I hadn't broken down.

All the pain and fear and sadness that I had held in me since I finally ended it with my ex came out and it overtook my body.

It was six months ago, but I had loved him. I mean, I had been with him for nearly two years but... but I was blinded by my love for him and I thought, I really thought he would change.

That every time he hit me, he didn't mean it. That he just lost control, and it didn't mean anything. I believed him when he told me that he would try to change. To try and control his anger. I believed him when he told me he loved me.

I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted him to love me like I had loved him but... the last time I saw him, the day I left, it had been enough for me. His actions had been breaking through my unconditional love and I realized who he really was.

He had... god how had I not seen it before- he hadn't loved me. Not really. You don't break the bones of someone you love. And he had broken me so many times. To keep me under his control.

That's all he wanted, to control me. He didn't want someone to love- he wanted someone to dominate. And I was the perfect target.

I had trusted him foolishly, I should have known. I should have listened to the friend that told me stay away.

That friend that now wants nothing to do with me, no one does. I had pushed everyone away for him because he wanted me to. He wanted me all to himself. I was his puppet.

I slammed my hand against the wall, adding another hole.

I wanted to scream.

Everything was dark inside me. Everything hurt.

I never wanted to fight him. I couldn't hurt him in the way he hurt me. So every time he hit me, every time he threw me across the room, I let him. I couldn't fight back.

And it was easy to hide it, I was hero after all. I had bruises all the time. I had always blamed it on the villains, and no one was the wiser.

He'd threatened to kill me, that day I finally left. He claimed I would come back, that I was nothing without him. And I knew it had been the right choice leaving... but it didn't make it any easier.

I hated everything about the way I was now. I was going through the motions. Strong enough for everyone else but not for myself.

I was never enough for myself.

All I wanted was someone to love, for someone to love me. I had been fighting my entire life, for everything I had fought. I fought to be number one hero. I fought to save people. I fought to be the best but... but I was tried of fighting.