In the Flames of Desire

Chapter 3- Past mistakes

Deku

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   I kissed him. I didn't know why, it just felt right. And It was, his lips were soft and gentle. He didn't push for more than I gave.

  I broke away, looking him in the eyes, he was blushing. I put my lips on his again, and I felt his hand move, instinctively I tensed up and he stopped moving, breaking away completely. It warmed my heart.

  Knowing he would never do anything to make me scared.

  "I'm s-sorry." he stuttered, I shook my head and grabbed his hand, sliding it up to my face.

  "Don't be- j-just kiss me again." his eyes widened but he didn't hesitate. He pressed his lips against mine, running his hand through my hair. I wasn't afraid of him.

  I trusted him.

I kissed him back, making sure not to hurt his stomach. He softly moaned into me and then froze. I kept kissing him, assuring him it was okay.

  I opened my mouth allowing entrance for his tongue.

  "Are you sure?" he asked, I nodded, running a finger over his lips. It felt so much different than what I was used to.

  "I trust you." he smiled right before meeting our lips again. He kissed me over and over, it was hungry, as if he had been waiting to do this for his entire life.

  His tongue slid across my bottom lip before finding its way into my mouth. This time I moaned before I could stop myself.

  I hadn't thought this would feel like this. I felt... safe.

  When Okawa kissed me, when he... when he fucked me it was always rough. Even when I didn't want it to be. He never listened, he always took what he wanted, when he wanted to.

  It wasn't that I didn't feel safe with him except- except that's exactly what it was. I hadn't felt safe. It had hurt sometimes and he didn't care.

  But right now... right now I did feel safe.

   He kissed me harder in response to the sound I made, now cupping my face with both of his hands. But he was still devastatingly gentle. 

  I had forgotten about Okawa for a moment when his lips were against mine. It seemed like nothing else matter except his touch.

  Nothing mattered except for him. For the aura of safety I was in right now.

  He loved me.

  I- well I cared about him, and we had always been close. I knew I could love him- I was sure I wanted to.

  He was shaking when he finally pulled away. I kept his hands in mine.

  "What's wrong?" I asked, leaning into him. Feeling his warmth.

  "I-I've wanted t-to kiss you for so long. To tell you for so long a-and I," he looked me in the eye and I saw a tear running down his cheek. I wiped it away. "I wanted to save you from him." I let go and then slid my hand around his neck.

  "You are saving me." I whispered in his ear. He shivered.

  I wondered what he was thinking. I wish I knew... I wanted to know.

  "I- don't say that." He looked away from me, his voice was sad. "I should have-" he sighed deeply, regretfully, "come sooner. I should have come the first time I saw those bruises on you. I should have-" he clenched his fist and I froze.

  I stared at them, he kept talking but I couldn't hear anything. I backed away. Memories flashed through my head. Okawa hands all over me, leaving me curled up in pain for hours as he laughed.