In the Flames of Desire

Chapter 8- In the Fire

Deku

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I needed the fresh air to think. I couldn't think in that room. Seeing Shoto dying, knowing he's in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

I hated it.

The air was warm. Despite it being the night, the air was still warm. A breeze went through the air, moving my hair. I had told Kacchan to give me twenty minutes to go outside and think.

I knew he wanted to go see Shoto too. They had gotten a lot closer while I was gone too. I didn't want to keep replaying all the mistakes I had made but... it was hard when it felt like my entire life was about to be ripped apart.

And then I realized that's how Shoto must have felt- that day when I betrayed them all. I had told him that no one was better than Okawa, that I trust Okawa more than I trusted them.

Gods, I was such a fool. Kacchan was right.

I slammed my hand against the side of the building, letting the pain course up my arm. I needed to feel it.

I hated Okawa. He ruined everything I had. An image of Shoto dying on my couch flashed through my head.

Loving you was worth it.

He said it as a goodbye but I wasn't letting him say goodbye. I would find a way to keep him alive. I had to. If I lost him... I wouldn't be able to be a hero anymore.

I would kill Okawa.

I didn't care if I'd go to prison. I didn't care if I never got to be number one hero, if I didn't have him... I didn't want anything else.

The air chilled, as if it was reading my mind. I had never thought such dark things before, the desire to kill someone for what they did.

"I thought I'd have to come inside to get you, but you look ready to go." I knew that voice, and it made me burn with fury.

He should have stayed away. He should have never come near me again because all I wanted to do was rip out his throat.

"Coming here was a mistake Okawa, do you have any idea what you've done." I sneered at him, looking up to find him standing in front of me.

"I did you a favor. You don't have to worry about him anymore, he's gone. Now you can be with me." I knew he was lying, he wasn't dead yet.

I would feel it.

"What don't you understand Okawa? I'm never coming back to you." I looked at his face and wondered what I ever saw in him. He was a monster.

"You know deep down you love me still Deku," he backed me into the wall of the building. "just come back." he leaned in close to me, his scent wafted around me. Bringing me back to the first time we met. HIs shadows swirled around my feet, climbing up my legs.

I had been captivated by him. I'd ignored Shoto, completely forgetting that I was with him. I remembered feeling like I just had to see him again, that I wanted to get closer to him.

But now... now being this close to him made me sick yet, I didn't push him away. Something in me still couldn't hit him- I thought that if I did I would be like him.

"I won't come back. Shoto won't die because of someone like you." My words came out weaker than I wanted, he was intimidating,

"I know you want to Deku, you know Todoroki won't give you the same kind of love that I did. He's better off dead anyway." He started to put his hand on my chest but his words roared in my ear.