Storm & Silence | FANFICTION

09. Panic 2 (Rikkard's POV)

this the same as the last chapter but rewritten in daddy ambrose's pov

TRIGGER FUCKING WARNING - panic attacks and content about severe breathing problems (could trigger other people's breathing as well)

It was torture.

     I could see Lilly and her emotionless state descending from the sky. I watched as her eyes faintly stared at the anonymous man who pushed her off the skyscraper, then hurling down gradually. Her arms slinging up from the force of the air driving up her back, attempting to grasp anything but failing as she realized that there was only the air to cling onto.

     I strived hard to get out of the mans' unnecessarily hard grasp on my arms, calling out Lilly's name, though failing as my throat grew rigid and tense.

She can't die. She won't...

     I inhaled sharply, sitting up, realizing how sweat-drenched I was. Then I looked over to my left, seeing my wife fast asleep. I let out a tremendous breath I didn't know that I was holding in.

It was a nightmare, Rikkard. Get a hold of yourself.

     I ran my hands down my face, dramatically pulling my eyebags down with my cheeks, slumping down. But something within me was incredibly disturbing.

And then I suddenly couldn't breathe.

     I took breaths in and out, but it wasn't enough. I couldn't catch my breath. Every inhales and exhales I took left me unsettled and panicked.

I literally could not breathe to save my life. Why, though? Lilly was right there next to me, safe!

     I could not cease hyperventilating. I so terribly wanted to crumble out a dejected sob, but the sentiment was so foreign to me that I refused to comprehend. Putting my hand over my heart, I tried my best to relax, find my anchor. But I could not. Tears emptied down my sweaty cheeks, making my face soaked than it already was. My vision disfigured, making my sight blurry in the darkness that awakened the room.

Great, now I was going blind.

     I clenched my hands together in fists, my nails digging into my palms. I could've sworn I drew blood.

Then I broke down.

Blood pounded in my ears as the beat of my restless heart pulsated.

     I was drowning in my fears of suffocation, the hefty pounds of my pulse were the only things I could hear. I wanted Lilly, but I couldn't reach out to her; I felt as if my whole body was going faint. Was I going to die as she did in my nightmare?

More salty tears plummeted down, then the sobs came.

The gut-wrenching cries erupted from my mouth. I didn't want to startle Lilly.

Why was I doing this? It needs to stop instantly! I just can't...

     To my luck, I felt a hand touch my bare shoulder delicately. I spun around immediately, seeing the startled grimace of my somnolent wife.

"Oh, Rikkard," she seemed as if she were to sob herself.

     Her hands aggressively pulled my shoulders to lay in between her legs with my head on her stomach. She began massaging my shoulders, attempting to help me decompress in every which way.

     It only helped a little bit; she was wide awake now. Lilly soothed my tight shoulders, ran her hands up and down my arms, in more of a comforting way rather than a seductive way, also fiddling with my hair, etcetera.