tyrants

i have to confess

sometimes i feel like the ache unfurling in my chest is eons old. feel like it's got rough smudged edges from burrowing deep into the crooks between my ribs and it gorges itself on my flesh. a hurt so raw i can barely breathe between the flecks of blood in my teeth
and sometimes i feel like crying out from the pain. feel like screaming into the space bridging the ocean between you and me. try to stop the slow death of all the bright and beautiful things we used to think. try to stop that life i built for us from fading into ash
i spend a lot of time wondering if you fall in love with the moments i'm far away. all the glittering days where im just a silhouette hiding away in my bedroom. just the dark corner in yours.