Arranged or love?

chapter 4: painful memories

“Stop it, please stop it. Oh god no! Please, please leave me alone. No don’t touch me!” I screamed in my dream. The same vivid dream I had for the past seven years. I saw his face, the sweaty, cold, slimy hands. The stale breath of cigarettes and alcohol. The cold, low laugh, the painful grip, the feral excitement in the eyes….

I gasped, my eyes opening. I trembled, I shivered though I was wrapped in a thick blanket, coldness had wrapped around me. My skin was covered in goose bumps. I let out a small sob. I would do anything to get rid of the nightmare. I only seemed to have it when something bad or traumatic happened- something that triggered it or when something reminded me of it. The nightmare that I had lived through, which was buried deep under lock and key, was opened by my subconscious when I was asleep like a Pandora box. Nobody knew. Nobody could know and apart from Ruksana nobody had any idea.  I made her swear, she had done reluctantly but had kept her promise.

I sat up in bed, which was a task, my body ached and felt drained and for some reason once again I felt thirsty I gulped down the water on the bedside table. The throbbing headache was back with a vengeance and I groaned, I needed some painkillers but they were downstairs. Which meant that I had to get out from under the covers oh how I hated my life at the moment. I padded out of the room remembering to put my nightgown on; I didn’t want my brothers to have a heart attack seeing me in the pyjamas I had brought as a spur of the moment thing. It was dark in the hallway and I placed my hand on the wall so that firstly I didn’t fall and cause some collateral damage to by body and secondly so I knew where the hell I was going. I sighed with relief when I entered the kitchen, groaning and letting out a small whimper after I switched on the light. It was too bright and it intensified my headache to the point of unbearable. I closed my eyes briefly welcoming the relief it brought as I blindly reached the painkiller box in kitchen cabinet. Yes I was acquainted with the painkiller box, it was my best friend in life something which I wasn’t going to deny.

After taking the drug I made my way into the hallway, I desperately needed to sleep my eyes were shutting on their own accord. I switched off the light and made my way up to my room, cursing my life with every step I took, it seemed to rattle my head making the throbbing ten times worse, I froze-my next step was half completed, one of my feet firmly on the ground and the other one still slightly lifted. I could have sworn I heard a noise. Maybe I was imagining things or I had become paranoid. Hey it happened to people who were threatened at knifepoint! I slowly, and gently placed my foot on the floor, taking care not to make any noise. Thump, thump, thump my heart was pounding, intensifying the pounding in my head, my mouth became dry, my hands clammy as I focussed my hearing on any slight noise. Just as I began to think it was my imagination I heard another soft, footstep, SHIT, who was that, please God don’t let it be a mouse or a burglar! I prayed, my heart almost stuttering as my slow processing brain clicked on that it might also be my dad. I stood there frozen, I swear if it was a statue game I would’ve won first place.

“Please god help me, please save me, please, please” I whispered fervently, shutting my eyes , my heart was a like an accelerating car on the race track, going at about 130 mph. I heard it again, I gasped and opened my mouth to scream at the top of my lungs. I gathered my strength, prepared myself to scream the house awake and just as I took a lungful of air a hand clasped around my mouth before my scream was let loose. My heart stuttered, my legs shook like jelly, my mind worked over time so I could somehow free myself from the clutched of the unknown person with their hand around my mouth- it was a large one at that!

“Mmfff…mmmmmm…” was the garble that left my tightly secured mouth, I struggled and clawed, I wiggled and pushed but to no avail the person’s, probably a man’s, hand hadn’t budged a millimetre. “Chicken, you almost gave me a heart attack,” the low, sexy as hell voice, rumbled behind me, his hot breath a soothing touch to my ears. For a moment, with his hand around my mouth and the other around my waist, at a time I felt my most vulnerable- I actually felt safe. Crazy or what! All the tension seeped out f my body, the fear evaporated from my pores and I felt at ease. But then reality came crashing down on me full force, like a bucket full of freezing water being thrown on your head sort of reality check, and I renewed my struggle against the crazy lunatic who was my sister-in-law’s brother. Okay Zubaida think, get him away from you! My conscious screeched at me, so there was only one thing to do-bite him hard. I opened my mouth and bit down on his middle finger as hard as I could, he gave a small yelp of pain, I kicked back my leg, mentally jumping for joy when my foot made contact with his shin. He let out a grunt of pain and let go of me, sighing with relief I whirled around to face him and backed up quickly a couple of feet. What’s-his-name let out a load of swears and curses as he hopped on one foot while sucking his finger in his mouth meanwhile I stood there basking in my victory grinning like a cheshire cat.  He looked up at me and glared and if it was possible my grin became even wider and I raised my eyebrow at him challenging him to try it on me again if he dared. 

“Why you little-” he hissed in pain, if looks could kill I’m pretty sure the glare penetrating from his eyes would send me 6 feet underground in a wooden box but unfortunately for him, I was made of thick skin and for some reason I wasn’t afraid of him. “Well maybe you shouldn’t be sneaking up on unsuspecting people and trying to suffocate them by blocking their air supply with your huge hands,” I hissed bag, he looked at me startled, blinked a couple of times and then burst into a fit of laughter.

“Big hands, you know what they say about men who have big hands,” he snickered quietly, covering his mouth to muffle his laugh,” it took me a while to grasp the underlying message, I gasped and glared at him, my eyes as wide as saucers.

“Eww, that’s not something I want to think about, you weirdo,” I muttered, thankfully it was dark so he couldn’t see my beetroot red face at the moment, how embarrassing was this, if only I hadn’t had that dream, I wouldn’t have come face to face with this idiot. “Sorry, sorry, chicken didn’t mean to give you a heart attack” he whispered coming closer, “although I’m thinking you’re not really as sweet and innocent as you make out to be,” he whispered into my ear. His warm breath sent tingles down my spine, if possible I blushed even more and I swear my heart beat was the speed of a formula one car, I gasped at his closeness. His closeness was uncomfortable but not unwelcome, I wasn’t used to being this close to guys, but I didn’t really mind as much as before. Something about him calmed my inner turmoil like a balm to my torn heart.

“Well that’s for me to know and for you to NOT find out, now excuse me I’m going back to bed,” I huffed and then marched passed him and went straight upstairs, into my room, not stopping until I closed my bedroom door safely behind me. Then I sighed and closed my eyes, silently begging my over eager, formula speed- heartbeat to calm down.

   “Calm down Zubaida, calm, breathe in and out,” I told myself, for crying out loud I had promised myself that I wouldn’t get close to a guy ever again. But what’s-his-name had to come along and ruin it. For that I hated him.

Adam

I was woken from my deep slumber to the sounds of a cry, it was a tortured, angelic voice, and that voice belonged to the angel currently in the room opposite to my own. It was filled with so much pain, so much sorrow, she was begging someone to leave her alone, crying and sobbing, at first I thought she was awake, but then when I listened closely I realised she was having a nightmare. What could she possibly be having a nightmare about? I remember her brothers’ telling me, that ever since they came back from their boys trip, they had come across a closed off, quite and sombre Zuabida. With everything happening in their lives, they forgot to ask her but I knew deep down that such nightmares were associated with real life events.

I got up, not being able to take her cries any longer, as soon as I touched the handle, it stopped, the silence was followed by a gasp and shuffling- she was awake. I didn’t want to go and scare her so I waited, but the little madam decided to get up and go for walkies- at 3am in the morning. So I decided to follow her- listening to the irrational part of my brain- I blamed it on the fact that I was awake at 3am in the morning. I silently went downstairs, seeing her down some tablets and water, she sighed, looking at nothing for a few moments and then she moved upstairs. I followed slowly, but she heard me follow her, I knew she was going to scream and wake the whole house so I covered her mouth- once again I stress that I blame it on the irrational part of my brain. Not knowing, that the feisty cat had sharp teeth and claws, god her bite was strong, not as bad as the kick to my shins though- I’m pretty sure she left a bruise.  The funny thing was the way she talked to me- being in the CID, meant no one really talked to me like that- but she did. Funnily enough, it was refreshing, I mentally kicked myself for the comment I made about big hands, but it was entertaining to watch her facial expressions, she was so cute when she blushed. Full of innocence.