Arranged or love?

chapter 11: My painful past, my tormentor

My apologies for such a late post, this chapter is intense and is not for those under the age of 16, not gonna stop anyone but read at your own risk!!

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Chapter 11: My past

I finally felt at peace.

I felt secure.

The darkness I welcomed with open arms was my security.

I felt whole.

But alas, it wasn’t going to last, after all I had to face reality at some point. My senses returned to me slowly, bit- by bit and I heard snippets of conversations, whispers, shouting, crying, arguing and none of it made sense. Why were they disturbing me? More importantly what had just happened? Along with my senses the pain also returned in my head but instead of it returning slowly, the pain returned with such force I felt as if I was going to pass out again. I also felt sick.

I began to remember, the wedding, the dance, Rehan, my father and my chosen groom. My chosen groom. NO! My eyes flew open and I gasped and in the process I bolted up right, my body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and my limbs felt numb. No. No. No, this couldn’t be happening! It was a bad dream and I was going to wake up any time soon.

So why wasn’t I waking up?

A sob left my mouth and everyone swivelled their heads and focussed their attention on me but that was the least of my problems. My eyes sought out my tormentor, the man of my nightmares and my heart plunged into my churning stomach. He smiled slyly at me. He had won and once again I had lost. No this couldn’t be happening! He stared at me lustfully, his eyes showing naked lust and desire.

My hands became clammy and shivers ran up and down my spine. My empty stomach began to heave as nausea hit me and I thankfully grabbed the bucket that was shoved under my nose by Ruksana and emptied what little content there was in my stomach. My brothers’ and Adam rushed towards me and Adam gently brushed my hair out of my face and held t back while I threw up in the bucket. I didn’t care. I was still numb in shock. I looked up at him and my eyes welled up as I saw the pain and concern flash in his eyes, as his eyes met mine. Adnan sat beside me in the small room and rubbed my back, thankfully my brothers had enough sense to shift me into a small private room away from the hawk like attention of the members of our community and family.

Lyba gave me a glass of water and I rinsed my mouth and spit it into the bucket, it was then I realised the attention I was getting. “I’m sorry Husna,” I croaked as I saw her stood there, her face etched with pain and worry, she shook her head at me and sat down beside me and patted my face. “Don’t be babe, you haven’t done anything to apologise for, there are those who have wronged and they haven’t had the sense to apologise, but you don’t need to apologise,” she whispered as she stroked my hair. Her words had a double meaning only the three of us could understand, I gave her a watery smile and nodded my head at her and hugged her tight. Tears threatened to spill but I kept them in check, there was no way I was giving him the satisfaction of thinking he had won. When hell freezes over.

Ruksana stood further back, her eyes trained on Rehan, she wore a scowl on her face and openly glared, she turned after sensing my gaze on her and gave me a small reassuring smile. From the corner of my eye I saw my brothers and Adam glance at each other worriedly, communicating through gestures, the sinking feeling returned after I realised I had to explain why I fainted. I wasn’t ready to tell them of my past and pain or about my tormentor.  Rehan.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

I can remember what he did to me.