I woke up and looked at the alarm clock i still had 10 minutes to sleep but i got up anyway i moved my covers and seen blood on my sheets i locked my door and got new sheets to make my bed i put the blood stainded sheet in the bottom of my closet. i unlocked my door and walked into the bathroom turning on the shower getting the water just right. i unlocked my phone and searched black veil brides did andy really think i would not listen to his band. i clicked perfect weapon and sat my phone down. i took off my shirt and untied my pants my phone light up and said i had a message i read the scream it was from Jessica it simple said go kill yourself i sat my phone down and opened my drawer i remover the bottom and picked up my razor i sat it on the counter. i pushed my pants off of my body along with my underwear and bra i picked up the razor and stepped into the shower i sat on the cold bathtube floor and carved nine straight lines into the oposite wrist from last night they have to be even after watching the blood rollonto the floor and down the drain i stood up and finished my shower.
when i was done i got out rapping myself in a towl i looked at my phone and seen 16 more messages from Jessica. all saying go kill your self and calling me names i looked at my wrist cleaned up the bathroom and walked into my room opening my closet door I put on my black skinny jeans with fish nets under them and an Asking Alexandria band T. i walked back into my bathroom and started dooing my make up i turned the music on my phone off and turned on my radio just as i turned it on kick me by sleeping with sirens was comeing one i sand alound and did my make up black eye liner with somemore black eyeliner nothing special tipical emo kid thing looking over my outfit i desided i am wearing to much black so i changed my jeans to gray skinny jeans and walked down stairs. my dad was in the kitchen reading his paper i got a cup of ornge juice i took my anti depressants and walked back upstaits i put my razor in my book bag like i do ever morning and put on my black zip up hoodie i threw my book bag over my sholder and walked down stairs to get a bagel or something. "i make you a bluebarry bagel it is on the table" my dad said from the sink i smiled and ate my bagel it was perfect. "i am goign to drive you to school today we need to have a chat" my looked at me and i knodded.
when i was done eating me and my dad got in the car. "Ivy i am worried about you" "why" "you only say one or two words a day thats not healthy" "sorry" "dont be i was just waning to know why that is what made you stop talking" "they left" "who did" "Andy and...mom" my dad looked at me then back at the road "your mom and andy okay well what about that dream it you tell me what it is in details we can stop talking" i sighted "you wake me up telling me i am goign to miss saying goodbye to Andy when i get down stairs and out side he is pulling away i try to yell for him but nothing comes out so i ran after him i finaly catch up but andy's car is crashed with fire a lot of fire i can heard him screaming in pain but he is not in the car i look for him but cant find him i still cant call his name then everything starts to spin and i see mom then i wake up" "well i see okay i think i know how to help" "how" "lets go see Andy over break" i smield and the rest of the car ride was silent. i get to see Andy it has been three years "we have to call him first and see if you can stay with him of coursse i have to come back and go to work" "stay with Andy" "yes is thatokay with you" "ya" no god no i have not seen him in three years what if he is completly different now what if his band members live with him or he has a girlfriend or boyfriend Andy is not gay or bi that i know of but who knows it has been three years.
we got to school and i was a little late so i ran inside first bell has not startd yet i think i can make it i ran to my locker inoring all the looks and wispers i quickly put some books away and grapped my advanced alg and advanced writing books all my classes are advanced and all the books say aadvanced in big letters all the way around the book i am the only freshman in any advanced classes all my classes for the passed five years have been advanced with no kids my age thats how i got the nick name brains and how i have no friends but still have straight A's. i ran to Geomotry and sat in my normal spot next to James he is the only person i will talk to he even calls me by my real name and he is really smart makes me feel stupid sometimes but oh well. "hey Ivy" james said as he loked up from is book "ranning to get me i see" i shook my head no adn he giggled "why dont you talk if you dont mind me asking" i looked down why is everyone asking this today "hey its okay i was not expecting you to answer" i gave him a weak smile and said "they left" his eyes got wide and and his mouth opened "did you talk" "ya" "i um hi" "hello" "you should talk more" "why" "you have a sweet vocie i like it" i smiled and opened my text book "who left" "everyone" "explain" "even when i talked to people i never let anyone get close to me but my brother mom and shay they all left i only have my dad now" "you have me" "i do?" "yes you are the best little freshman ever" "im not little" "okay best big freshmen" "oh look is brains talking to her boyfreind" Jessica said as she walked in the room "leave her alone Jessica" James said "if she only talks to you what is the point of her living" "shut up Jessica" "why do you care James she is just a little freshman bitch" "what did she ever do to you" "she stoll my boyfriend" "who would be stupid enought to date you" i said Jessica gave me the death stare but just walked to her seat James looked at me and laughted "that would be me" "what" "i dated her" "are you in the right class" he laughted again "see your funny another good reason to talk" "maybe ill think about it" "or just talk to me" "okay" "are you searous" "ya" "would you call me if i gave you my number?" "ya" James smiled and wrote his number on a peice of paper abd really lound almost screaming "HERE CALL ME IVY" Jessica looked at us and we giggled "if she come after me for that i will kill you" "comes after you?" "ya her and her friends have jumped me many times" "i am not going to let that happen" "mhm" "im not" we stopped talking and did our work.
The bell rang and i got my stuff but Jame grapped my bag and started walking out the door i followed him and tried to getmy bag but he just picked me up and carred me to "put me down" he sat me down "where to Miss" "what " "what class do you have nexted" "science" "lets go" "what" "i am walking you to every class it will piss Jessica off and you will be safe so win win" "what about on mmy way home" "i will drive you home i have a car" "no" "i am if you like it or not" i giggled and we started walking to science when we got there he said "wait for me here i wont be to long my class is down the hall. "maybe" "see you soon" i took my bag and walked into class i was bored out of my mind
James kept his promise he walked me to all my classes and sat with me at lunch we talked and joked around adn jessica kept her distance. When it was time to go home i had to take every text book i had with me i started walking to my bus but James come up behind me and grapped my bag "some to my van i have text books" he said smiling i laughted and we wnet to his car "what happened to the van" i teased "was that the deal for the van not the books" "yap" he smiled and opened my door "thanks" i said before getting in the car "he put my bad in the back next to his and got in "what kind of car is this?" "an L Comeno do you like it" "yes" "really?" "yes its awesome" "my dad thinks it is a shitty first car i told him its going to be my only car" "its nice" "wanna listen to music" "sure" he turned on the radio and Goodbye Agony was on i smiled "do you know this band" "ya" "great i love them" i smiled even more and said "this is my brother" James looked at me and smiled "Andy?" "yes" "are you searous" "yes wanna see pictures of us" "sure" i got my phone and show him the way to many pictures me and Andy took before he left"wow thats cool" "no" "why not" "he left remember" "oh ya well do you talk to him" "i did last night but that was the first time in three years" "i know he still loves you" "mhm" "where do you live" "6269 willow" "i live really close to you" "cool beans dude" he started laughting and rolled his eyes "lets go" we joked around and listened to music we like all the same bands when we got to my house he locked the car doors "what aer you doing" "opening your door like a gental men" "dont flater yourself" he got out of the car and opened my door "my lady" he said and bowed down i started laughing uncontrolable untill i heard my name i looked up and see Andy running to me he rapped his arms around me and spinned me "ivy i missed you so much i told you i would talk to you today are you okay hows life are you being bullied...who is this?" i stayed quite and so did everyone else "Ivy you dont talk to your brother?" James finally asked i shruged and seen my dad walk up "Hello James nice you see you again" "Hello Mr.Beirsack" they shook hands and dad introduced Andy and James "are you dating my sister" "no sir" "do you want to date my sister" James looked at me and smiled "yes sir" i blushed and hit his arm before taking my bag from him and walking away "i wanna do it" "bet you do" "not that Ivy" "mhm" James grapped my bag and started running i chased him around my yard. "Ivy" andy yelled i looked up andy was walking to me we stood in the yard silent "can i have a hug i have not seen you in three years" i shook my head no Andy lokked hurt "we...we was so close what happened?" "you left everyone left" "i am so sorry Ivy i had to this band is my everyting" "i know but you could of called" "we talked last night" "for the first time in three years" "dad wants you to stay with me for break you dont have to" "i want to" andy smiled "but" his smiled faded adn he was frowning again "i just dont know you a lot can happen in three years" "i am the same Andy" "i dont know" "please come i made you a room its pink and purple from your roomo now i can tell you are not girly anymore but we can fix it together anything you want please" Andy looked so sad i could not say no "fine" Andys faec light up again and he said to pack same stuff for him to take back and when break starts it will already be threre waiting for me i walked over to James who was talking to my father and a girl i dont know i snacked my bag away from him and giggle when he fell i help him up and looked at the girl "hello im juleit" i smiled lightly and looked down "thats Ivy" Andy said from behind me "oh hi ivy" she said really slow like sh ewas talking to an idiot "baby she is not an idiot she just stopped talking "she has not shut up today" James said i looked at him and he smiled "james you and Ivy go do whatever i need to talk to Andy and juleit" "show me your room young one" "hands to yourself" Andy called as we walked away james smiled and took my book bag.
