[the ocean's breeze] NEWTMAS SHORT STORY

[ 07 ]

thomas

i stand speechless. newt storms away from the garden across the sleeping section of the safe haven, his small figure sticking out from the trees and sand. i can tell he's unaware of the strange looks other refugees of the safe haven give him as he passes by them.

i release a heavy sigh and dig the shovel into the soil beneath my boots. i attempt to ignore the throbbing in my head and try to stop myself from wondering what i did to make newt so upset. he didn't call me tommy; he always calls me tommy. i pissed him off, i made him feel bad, and it's my fault.

i blink back tears as i continue to shovel the dirt around in a pattern that makes the gardeners here satisfied.

"tommy." i look up from the soil and my body ices over at the sight. i'm shivering under his hardened look, but it's not him.

newt's here, but it doesn't look like him. the boy in front of me has a knife sticking out of his chest, black spilling from it. the dark substance spills from his lips soon after and runs down his black veined neck. he lets out a small cough and spits the liquid at me. i release a groan and try not to throw up in the sight of the boy. i look up to his eyes to see any trace of newt, any sign that he's still there and feeling, but all i get is a void. it's not full of any light i've seen in newt before; but it's an amplified dullness i've seen in newt this week.

"no," i whisper. that's all i want to believe. this can't be real, i can't lose newt again. i know it's not real because newt just left in the other direction with healed wounds and exhaustion weighing down his bones. i have to get this newt, this crank-newt out of my head before it takes a toll on me, i have to get rid of the hallucination. i take in a shaky breath and rest my forehead on the end of my shovel (something newt just tried to do a few moments ago but ended up repeatedly banging his head on it and scaring the hell out of me).

"thomas?" i look up from my boots and blink in expectence to see the crank-newt spitting out more thick, black liquid. instead, it's minho staring at me with his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed together. "everything okay, dude?"

"yeah," i respond immediately, pushing the hallucination to the back of my mind to pay attention to minho. i don't know how i feel about the asian anymore, he's lied to me and has no regrets towards. he even knew what losing newt has done to me personally, he was there through my panic attacks and walked with me when i couldn't sleep at night. and he kept newt under my nose, it feels like i've been betrayed by everyone i know.

avoiding him seemed to be the only option, but today he's caught me completely off guard. i sniff and wipe at the tears on my face. "just worried about newt, is all."

"we all are," minho says. i nod and set my shovel down to talk to him. "me, fry-pan, gally. something happened back in the glade awhile before you came up in the box. newt wasn't doing too well..."

"his limp," i interrupt minho. the asian's eyes widen and his eyebrows raise. i release a heavy sigh. "yeah, newt told me what happened."

minho nods, then a small smile forms on his face. he shakes his head and his grin widens. "if you guys don't get married, love isn't real."

"i- what?"

"newt doesn't talk about his limp to anyone, including me, and i was the one who saw him like- like that." minho slows his speech, the horrific thoughts of him dragging newt's feeble body through the maze come up in my mind as if they're forgotten memories. i can picture the sight so vividly, yet it feels like a nightmare from a different life.

"what i mean though, is he told you about that because he trusts you, because he loves you. because you've earned it," minho says. his eyes crinkle. "it's cute."