Real || Ririka M.

Chapter 7

You entered your apartment, it was already six pm in the evening and Kanna said that you're free to go. You looked at how neat the apartment is, did Kanna send someone to clean?

Looking at your desk, there was the homework that Runa probably gave to Kanna, even she didn't know that you had this other part of your life.

You made yourself some (favorite food), you were great at cooking and it was the skill you valued the most in your life. You ate in silence as you watched the stars in the sky, it was comforting.

After eating, you washed the plates and sat on the sofa, still staring at the stars. You stayed like that for another 15 minutes before you made your way towards the bathroom.

You took a very relaxing bath in the tub since you couldn't use the shower in your condition. You were about to doze off when your cousin's voice echoed in your head.

"Why don't you have trauma or sadness about this? Are you that unaffected or is this another facade of yours?"

You closed your eyes as you thought about what happened yesterday and the past three years. "It's not that I'm unaffected, I just don't deserve to be," you said to no one as you rinsed off and went to the mirror to look at yourself.

You have no idea how much I've wanted to cut myself or give up too, Isamu, I just don't think that someone with this life like mine has the right to complain when other people are struggling.

I don't think that giving up on this life when others are desperately hanging on to theirs would be fair to them. I've felt so much guilt when I think about my doubts and when I curse my fate.

I've lived such a nice life and saying otherwise would just be lying. I deserve all these cuts and bruises, I deserve to be in pain too, I deserve to be forgotten and damaged too.

"Plus if I try to defend myself, I know someone else would be treated like me, I let him cut and bruise me because I know that someone else isn't and it's only me"

It almost even feels like self-harm, haha but crueler, I deserve this

I definitely do

You thought as you changed and walked out.

This was quite short

You're a bit of a masochist here because of your unstable mental condition that will be explained later

I hope you don't mind and I hope you're enjoying the story, if anyone is reading this, or liking it

So what do y'all say about top ririka?