Project Heartbreak - Charlie Gillespie {a.u.}

16

August 15, 2018

Charlie's POV

I grew up asking questions that no one actually answered. It started with my mother when I was six. I asked her about my father and how he never showed up for any of my birthdays except buying expensive gifts after the divorce and my mother shrugged and told me, later, that my father was a good man who loved me. As though I needed some reassurance.

Then at ten, I came home with bruises and tears in my eyes. She was painting her nails to a fine shade of pink when I walked in and I knelt by her feet and told her to tell me who my father was.

"You don't need to know, sweetie." She said to me.

"I need to know, " I said as another tear escaped my eyes, "all my friends at school laugh at me for not knowing who my dad is. Please tell me."

I remember she closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. Then she shrugged and told me she prepared pasta. She never told me, no matter how hard I tried.

Then at fifteen, I met a girl that I liked. My geeky friends told me not to tell her about it but I insisted. She said my hair was black and curly. She said she wasn't attracted to those kinds. So I got home and dyed my hair brown until it could sparkle in the sun.

At one of her parties, she kissed me and I became so excited I wanted to try something else. And I did. October 5th. It was in her room with pretty curtains and flowers everywhere. I let her take me even if it meant crying in the morning. She said she loved me. Then I saw her with another boy and I asked her, "what about me Alice?"

She didn't answer me. She was the second person who taught me to keep my silence and my feelings. Maybe that's why I like to act like a tough guy all the time and break girl's hearts. Maybe that's why I was so hurt when I found out about Mila's plan. I hadn't felt anything like this for someone since Alice, and I was scared. Scared she would hurt me just as bad as Alice did.

It was a dull day, the sky an uneven canvas of white and blue from the thin trail of clouds that swirled within them. I saw nothing but a large, yellow bead peeking from the corner of the matte shade of blue that had been littered with clumped spheres that formed to look like an enlarged state of froth. They called them clouds, they looked bouncy enough, but they never did whenever two would meet. Not once did they recoil from each other, they only formed a bigger one. One that looked so much more like balloons, no pointy ends, only curves. From the underside, it held a flat surface. If it weren't the wrong side up, I was sure I could walk over it, but the shadow it cast upon the ground didn't look as promising.

I rushed to my car and booked it to Mila's house, excited for the day I had planned for her. The drive was short seeing as she lived not too far from me. As I approached her front door, I smiled to myself. I had the perfect girl.

"Sunshine," I smiled as I walked into her room.

"Hi, baby boy," She said as I kissed her lips.

"Do I have a night planned for us," I smiled as my body landed next to hers.

"And what is that?" She asked, turning towards me and resting her chin on my chest.

"You see: If I tell you that, I'll have to kill you," I said, smiling wide as ever.

My jaw hurts already.

"That's a pretty big grin you got there," She said poking my cheek. "This must be serious,"

"Seriously super fun evening for my beautiful girlfriend," I said kissing her temple.

"Okay, how am I dressing?" She said getting up from the bed.