In the bathroom, I dug around in my suitcase for about five minutes for a decent looking comfortable outfit. I came up with a pair of denim capri's that I wore whenever I was being active outside. The knees of the capri's wore so worn out from falling down countless times on my skateboard that ratty holes had formed. They didn't look half bad considering their age. My mother had bought them when we went school shopping a week before my freshman year began.
I paired the capri's with a loose fitting, plain white t-shirt that hung well past my waist. It looked more like a sleep shirt because of its size...but sleeping is probably what I was going to do most of the drive anyway so it was a good choice as well.
Throwing my hair up into a messy bun, and slipping into my black vans; I was then ready to hit the road. I planned on applying some makeup later on so that my thick eyeliner would appear fresh at the concert.
Suitcase in hand, I walked out of the cramped bathroom to meet Jimmy. He had a small backpack thrown over his shoulder that was covered in pins with various bands on them and various phrases. His outfit consisted of a pair of faded black skinny jeans, a silver studded belt, and an over-sized My Chemical Romance t-shirt. He smiled at me his eyes not shining the way they usually did. I could tell that the rejection had just now hit him...hard.
The atmosphere was very awkward, and tense. I could feel it in my bones that he had so much that he wanted to say...but couldn't manage to get the guts to pull the words from his lips. I bit the inside of my jaw while rocking back and forth on my toes; a habit I had picked up from Jimmy years ago.
"I-I'm sorry that I was rude this morning. I'm just trying to make my point, ya' know? I don't want what happened yesterday to ruin our friendship. Something that special didn't deserve to be shared with just anyone. You're my Jimmy. The person who saved me from myself a few years back. You're my best friend. That's all that I want you to be. You deserve someone so much better than me, anyways." I lectured explaining myself causing his smile to transition into a fake one.
I walked over towards him slowly, wrapping my arms around him. I didn't want him to think that I didn't love him or anything. I did. I really did. There was just too much of a risk to take when it came to stepping into a relationship with him. His friendship wasn't worth losing because of that risk. I couldn't live a day without him as my best friend. I wish that would sink through his thick skull.
I pulled away, pecking him swiftly on the cheek, and running a hand through his clean, flat hair. He hadn't bothered with the hair-glue quite yet. He made eye contact with me for a moment, before his murky eyes flickered in a different direction.
"I understand...but I need to get something off of my chest. I can't suppress these feelings for you. Just know that you will be the only girl I will ever love. Nobody could match the spark you light inside of me, just by looking in my direction. If you ever change your mind about giving 'us' a chance...well I will be here waiting. Just know that I will always be here, ready to change into a better man, for only you." he babbled, pouring his entire heart out, making mine beat hard in my chest.
It really did hurt to reject him...but it was for the best. My reaction to this was a simple smile and nod. I pushed past him out of the room towards his car abruptly. I was hoping for him to drop this entire event soon so that I could stop feeling guilty. Let's just skip this whole awkward phase we were diving deeper and deeper into...I said a silent prayer to a God that I'm not quite sure I believed in for us to become normal again...as soon as possible.
****Jimmy's Point of View****
I tossed my bag into the backseat of my cluttered car, then hopped into the front seat beginning to get comfortable. I turned the key in the ignition a few times before my car sputtered to a grumbly start. While reaching into my pocket before pulling out for my menthol's, Octobr flipped through the radio stations quite a bit before settling for some poor rock station. God, people's music taste nowadays sickened me to the core. I pressed a cig to my pale lips, lit it, and then tossed the rest of the pack in a little cubby hole underneath my radio for later use.
