*****Kaela's Point Of View*****
Nothing seemed alive. Not me, not the world, not Jimmy. Yeah I know, he was dead for sure. But was I too? After all the chaos last night Billie had carried me back to his dressing room, and laid me on the couch. I still hadn't slept, and it was morning. I had laid here all night, restless, only thinking to pass the time. Which seemed dangerous, exspeically after what had just happened. Considering it was completly my fault. Completly, and utterly my fault.
Daylight had broken, the birds had came out, the few who stayed here during the winter sang. What was there to sing about? Nothing. What was there to live for? Pain. I had a simple answer for everything now. What was the point of life? You live, and then you die. Simple, see?
I blinked, and turned toward the side of the couch where my back was to Billie. I couldn't look at his face, it gave me another reason to blame myself. I went off for Billie, when Jimmy loved me, and I knew I was going to hurt him in the process. What the fuck is wrong with me? I changed. Changed for the worst it seemed.
I sighed deeply, out of mind, I wish I hadn't of watched him beg and cry, then turn him down like he was nothing. Then he would be here, holding me. Something cold brushed over my back, and I turned my head around to see an object that was see though? Huh?
I sat up, and stared at the familiar shape. It-it-i-it was Jimmy? He smiled softly, and jumped on the couch beside me. I gasped, breathing haulted.
"I'm so sorry. I guess I over reacted?" He aplogized, becoming for defiant, less see though.
"What in the hell?" I wispered, making Billie snore loudly.
"I love you."
I opened my eyes, darkness surrounding me. A guilt dream. I felt a tear stream down my face, and didn't bother to wipe it away. I didn't care. About anything. About nothing.
Everything seemed grey though the eyes I see though today, I turned toward where Billie was supposed to be sleeping, to spot Mike. His eyes were open staring at the ceiling. There wasn't any color to anything, it felt like an old black and white film. I blinked, trying to make it go away, with no sucess.
"What are you doing here?" I wispered, my voice so hoarse it hurt to hear it.
"Billie told me to keep an eye on you, he had to go do some errands with Tre'. He'll be taking you home later tonight." Mike wispered back dulley.
"Oh."
I laid there for a few more miniutes, then decided to sit up. I felt like I weighed a million and one pounds, so it took me five minutes to suceed in this task. I sighed deeply, and slowly hopped over Mike. Who instantly sat up, and grabbed my leg.
"Where in fucks sake do you think you are going?" He questioned, his eyes cold with pain.
"To take a shower." I replied, jerked free of his grip, walked towards the bathroom, and shut the door behind me.
Not bothering to take my clothes off I turned the shower on, and got inside. The room was dim, because all that was on was the nightlight. I didn't care.
The shower water was ice cold against my skin, which was already numb from the pain I've been in over the last few hours. I laid down in the tub, and the water crashed against my face. I turned my head towards the right so I could breath, and felt around in my pockets. Luckily there was a pocket knife in one. I needed something, something to take it away for a moment. Just a moment.
I pulled the knife out, and flipped it open. Everything was still grey, it made me that much more depressed. The blade was pointed sharp, and it was smooth to the touch. I pressed it against my wrist, and it felt blazingly hot. That was odd. I sliced left, and RED blood began to spill out of my wrist and down the drain, following the water like a long lost lover.
