What Might've Been (Cricky)

Prologue (My Only Regret)

A/n: Few things to get out of the way:
1. Unless otherwise noted, the story is told in Ricky's POV
2. Okay, this is gonna get a little confusing because the story alternates between the real past, and what could've happened if the past went differently. The parts in italic are what Ricky wished happened, and the parts regularly written are what really happened. It'll only alternate chapter to chapter, so that shouldn't get too confusing.
3. Little bit of sexy stuff in this one. Few mentions of certain body parts, might be a little uncomfy for some of you. Most of that stuff is pretty irrelevant though, so you can just skip it. (There'll be warnings at the start of the chapters)
4. Vote, comment, share with your friends (or don't, I won't get reads anyways).

"Is there anything about your life that you would change so far?" Ryan asked me out of the blue. Everyone was hanging out at my place, sans-Chris because he had other plans tonight. 

"What does the great Rick Olson regret?" Vinny asked, seeming intrigued. We'd ordered pizza, and I took a bite of mine to keep from answering the question. 

"I'll bet he doesn't regret anything," Justin concluded, distracted by his phone as he spoke. 

"That's not true," I said after swallowing. "I have regrets."

"I'll bet your biggest regret is dating TJ," Ryan concluded. The two of us exchanged awkward glances at the mention of my one of my past relationships. 

"What was he like?" Vinny asked, resting his chin on his knuckles. 

"TJ?" I asked.

"He was-" Ryan began.

"Gravitational," I finished. "Yeah." 

"Gravitational how?"

"He always had to be the center of attention. Even if the situation had nothing to do with him, he somehow managed to get his two cents in," Ryan noted.

"But not, like, in a bad way," I corrected. "He was just really, really talkative. Not self-centered, but outgoing."

"So what was your relationship like?" Vinny continued his interrogation. 

"I don't really remember," I lied. "All I remember is being in lo- smitten with Chris the whole time."

"You guys had sex more than you went out together," Ryan recalled. "The weirdest part is, TJ always initiated it."

"Not that I didn't wanted it."

"So he was basically just a fling?" Justin asked.

"No, we still went out once a week."

"But you had sex every day," Ryan finished for me. 

"It wasn't all that strange back then. We were both in our early twenties, young and horny." Of course now I look back at it, and we really didn't have much of an emotional relationship. 

"If you liked Chris, why didn't you just break up with TJ and date him instead?" Vinny asked. 

"TJ was really possessive. Even if I had broken up with him, he probably would've picked a fight with whoever I decided to date next. Not to mention, Chris is straight."

"That is a fair point." Vinny sat back. "Maybe you would've been pleasantly surprised and he would've turned out to be pan or something." 

"It wasn't a risk I was willing to take," I sighed. 

"Do you still feel something for him?"

I took another bite of pizza to avoid the question once more. Of course I still feel something for him, but at the same time, it just seems like it's in the past now. It feels like it's been so long the two of us have just been friends that it would be weird to do it any differently. "I don't really know," I lied. "Even if I did though, it's not worth trying. We're not meant to be together."

"Can you imagine what might've happened if you'd dated him instead of TJ? Things would be so different now," Ryan thought allowed, looking up at the ceiling.

"TJ might still be in the band," I agreed. 

"Wait, that's why he left?" Justin asked. "That seems like a petty reason."

"He didn't want to be around me, and I wasn't leaving the band. Instead of leaving though, he just made it so we couldn't stand to be with him anymore."

"He should've just quit. I mean, what's the worst that could've happened?" Vinny asked.

"Yeah, well. He's got a girlfriend now, and he can be super intimate and possessive with her," I concluded, done talking about him. It was an interesting thought to entertain though. How would things be if Chris and I had been together?