What Might've Been (Cricky)

Disappointment

By now I'd settled in with the others at their house. I'd only been living there two days, but I settle quickly. I was facing utter disappointment about the whole Chris situation. I should've never told him about my asshole ex, and yet I know that if I didn't I would've regretted it too. I played with my skeleton key necklace in my fingers while I stared at the carpet, thinking about how I could possibly tell Chris that I was over it. Then again, if I did, I'd probably be lying to his face. How could I be so homesick after all this time if I didn't care about what I've left behind?

"I told you he'd break your heart," TJ said, startling me. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"He didn't break my heart, and you didn't scare me."

"I've seen the face enough, believe me. You're wearing that expression of rejection." He ran his fingers under my chin, tipping my face up towards him. I backed away immediately.

"Like you're going to help me. I'm halfway to pity sex with you," I grumbled. 

"Fine, have it your way." He crossed his arms. "But I'll wait for the day I can say I told you so."

"Who's being a heartbreaker?" Josh asked, entering the room and TJ pushed past him. 

"He's convinced that Chris is this mean guy who goes around breaking hearts," I explained. 

"Oh, he is." He nodded, looking at the ceiling. "He's broken countless hearts, actually. Some people thinks he doesn't have one himself." He gave me a sympathetic smile. "TJ thinks he broke yours too?"

"Wait, wait, wait, he actually does?"

"Of course. Do you know how many people ask him out on a daily basis? He's famous." He threw himself onto the couch. "But as far as actually dating someone and then breaking their heart, that's probably never happened."

Chris's words swam in my head. 'You can believe half of what TJ says.' I guess he was right. He's telling half of the truth. "Huh."

"You never answered my question."

"No, he didn't break my heart." I shook my head. "That's a ridiculous idea."

Josh shrugged. "Okay. Do you play Halo?"

I bit my lip. "Not well."

"I'll take anything I can get. None of the other guys like to play video games with me."

"Really?"

"No, not really. I just wanted to include you." 

"I guess that it's the thought that counts." He handed me a controller.

Later that day, I received a call from my mother. "Hello, Mom," I sighed. 

"When does the music come out again?" She asked. She was always so supportive of me, and therefore wanted to be the first one to hear all of our songs.

"There's not a date on it yet," I reminded her. 

"Oh, I see. How have you been?" 

"You know, same old same old." I played with a loose thread on the edge of my shirt. 

"Have you met anyone special?" 

"Mom!" I cringed. 

"I'm just asking!" I could practically see her raising her hands defensively. "But I'll take your embarrassment as a no."

"I tried, but it just isn't the right time," I explained to her. 

"I'd damn that boy to Hell if I could," She muttered, referring to my ex.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm over that by now. I just haven't met the right person yet," I lied. 

"Well that's a relief. What time is it there?"

"Almost four."

"Oh, I forget you're so far away."

"Only three hours. I'll be even further when I'm on tour."

"Don't remind me." 

"Anything interesting going on over there?"

"Rain."

"Mhm." There wasn't much else to talk about.

"Well I'll just let you get back to whatever now. Night."

"Yeah, night." I hung up on her after that. Today was by far the most disappointing day I'd had since I moved out here, and that includes the first day that I came here when I almost was rejected by the band. Almost. 

"It's nice that your mother accepts you," Chris said, entering the room. I didn't jump this time, realizing that it was quite common for people to just enter at random around here. 

"It is indeed," I agreed. 

"Were you talking to her about me?"

My eyes went wide. "N- I mean, you never said I- I'm sorry." I put my head down and folded my hands in my lap shamefully.

"It's alright. I was just wondering. Josh said you sucked ass at Halo." 

I was glad to have the topic changed. "I don't really get to play it too much."

"Me and Ryan were both tied for the worst players yesterday. I should thank you."

"You're bad too?"

"Not as bad as you, apparently. I'm more of a GTA guy." He handed me a controller. "Do you wanna play?"

"What if I said no?"

"Then I'd be embarrassed I'd expected you to say yes."

"Eh, I don't have anything better to do anyways." I took the controller.