What Might've Been (Cricky)

Belts and Butterflies

A/n: Update 4/4

It was my first day in this new band. Despite only being the bassist, everyone had seemed to take a particular liking to me on a personal level. I wasn't the kind of guy who made friends with people after one conversation though, so I still felt like a stranger to these people. They didn't intimidate me, mostly because they looked, talked, and acted like me, but I was sure to keep myself guarded. 

Despite the fact that I myself had no opinions on who was my favorite, who would be my best friend, boyfriend, et cetera, that didn't stop them. By 'them' I mean this one particular guy by the name of TJ, who'd seemed to be under the impression that I was his.

I'd recently moved out here to Louisiana, and really hadn't bothered to unpack any of the things I'd taken with me. My clothes still sat unfolded and discarded in two suitcases, all my chargers a tangle of white and black, and what little cookware and dishware I had was all still in boxes on the counters of my small kitchen, begging to be unpacked and used. I guess I could stop using paper plates and having leftovers from whatever takeout I'd had two days ago, but it just seemed like so much work. In fact, the only things that I actually had bothered to unpack were my guitars, bass guitars, and all of the gear I owned that went with them. I was ready to play songs at any given moment, but I wasn't ready to feed myself or change into a different outfit.

I don't know why it matters at all though. I live alone, and I don't get any visitors, mostly because the only people I know here I don't even really know. I rummaged through one of the two suitcases until I found one of my belts. I was just threating the metal through one of the holes when my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered, picking it up as my belt came loose once again.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" A voice replied. I recognized it, but I just couldn't put my finger on where I'd heard it.

"Who is this?" I asked. I didn't have their number in my contacts, and I don't give mine away. How did this person get it?

"Oh, right. We're not- Listen, you might remember me from yesterday?"

Only one name came to mind, despite the fact that I should know four others. "TJ?"

"So you do remember. Great! Can you answer my question then?"

"No, of course I'm not doing anything tonight. I don't know anyone here."

There was a chuckle at his end. "Well alright then. Do you want me to show you around town?"

I thought about if for a moment. "No thanks, I'm okay." 

"Your loss," He sighed. "Are you sure you don't want me to at least show you where the best place to get a sandwich is?"

His desperation illuminated his true intentions. "No, really. I'm going to show myself around town."

"Alright then, bye." He hung up on me, utterly disappointed. 

I thought for a while. It would be nice to have someone show me around town though. Who was that quiet, tall dude? I scrolled through my contacts and found his name. I'd already added all of the other members of the band into my phone, I just didn't know if they'd put mine in theirs. TJ answered that question. I decided to call Chris.

After a seven rings, I thought it would go to voicemail. Then Chris finally picked up. "Hello? Sorry, I didn't hear it ring."

"It's okay," I told him. "I was just thinking, I'm kinda new around here. Is it possible that you could show me around town?"

He paused. "Do you have a time?"

"Maybe around eight tonight? We could meet up somewhere."

"Sure, do you know where the Shell gas station at that one intersection is?" If it were anywhere else, I'd ask, but this was the only Shell gas station in town. 

"Oh, yeah. We can meet there." I looked forward to talking to him. Not because he was the vocalist, but because he seemed to be the most approachable member of the band. I mean, the others were nice and all, but a little overbearing. 

"Great. I'll see you then."

That night, I met Chris where he told me to. "Any particular reason why you asked me?" He asked almost as soon as we started walking through town. He put his hands in his pocket, sure to keep a distance of at least a foot and a half between us so I wasn't uncomfortable. 

"To be honest, the others seem a little bit...."

"Overexcited?" He finished for me.

"Exactly."

"You'll get used to it. They're really great once you get to know them."

"I don't doubt that."

He pointed to one building, a convenience store. "They make the best sandwiches," He told me. 

I nodded. "I'll be the judge of that."

"You don't trust my judgement?" He looked almost hurt. I think he was just kidding.

"I barely know you."

"What do you want to know?" Despite the question, he still looked a little guarded. I understood that feeling. 

"If I hadn't invited you out, would you still have shown me around town?"

"If you'd asked me to, sure. Otherwise, I'm sure that TJ definitely would have."

"TJ's a little too friendly." I recalled our conversation earlier.

"He means well. He just a little bit sexual to anyone he meets. I'm sure once you show him you only intend to be his friend, he'll lighten up a bit."

"But you didn't really answer my question. You still said you'd only take me out if I asked."

"I did answer the question."

It was an enigmatic answer, but somehow I still understood it. He wasn't the kind of guy who took initiative, I guess. Or maybe he was, he just didn't want new people to be constantly reminded that they were new. 

"I've got a question for you," He told me, turning the questionnaire around. 

"What?"

"How come you're so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," I lied. In truth, I did have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Could that feeling be nerves?

"I'm not that gullible. You don't need to worry about me telling other people what you say."

"I feel like the kid who moves out of district in the middle of the school year and has to start school the next day."

"Out of place, huh? Don't worry, I'll try my best to make you feel welcome."

"This walk is helping," I told him.

"I'll bet you TJ's friendliness didn't though, did it?"

"Not really," I confessed. It made me feel welcomed, but didn't calm my nerves. 

"Good to know. Soon though, I'm sure that you'll find a home in the band."

"Really?"

"Of course. What're friends for?" He smiled.