Payback Hurts (Book ONE) ✔️

Payback Hurts- Chapter 18: Was I Worth It?

The last chapter ended at an unfortunate point, and this chapter will be making up for it! :) At least I hope it does... ;)
Enjoy!

Got time after this? Check out my new story The Alpha's Heir! Have a great day :)

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Run

Run

Run

It was all I could think about — running and leaving behind the terrible memory of my life, a life without him. Without Dylan, without my mate. I've been crying so much every night that it seems unreal that I have enough tears to cry.

I had been running away for three days. I was far from Dylan's territory, but not far enough. I haven't slept, I haven't even eaten. My stomach tightened as it growled in hunger. And this damn Rogue in my head. She would shut up! I hate her, and she always told me that I wouldn't find Dylan, that it was a waste of time. Was it? Should I give up and go completely Rogue?

'Yes, it would be smarter if you did. You know that like I know that.'

'I can't just give up on finding him.'

'He gave up on finding you...' I stopped running at that, for the first time in the past three days... Kathy made sense. But that didn't mean that I was going to give up on him. I wouldn't.

'You are so weak it's disgusting, you won't last in the Rogue world.'

'And who the hell said that I wanted to be a fucking Rogue? From what I remember you started talking to me with your crazy ass!'

'I know I'm crazy, but you're pathetic! You run around here acting like you don't know what the hell you want! Oh, yeah don't act surprised! I've seen into your mind, and I know your thoughts, it's pathetic! One minute it's "Victor, I love you" then it's fucking, "Dylan, my mate, I have to find you because I suddenly realized after all these fucking years that I still love you!" You're a waste of time .'

'I never said--'

'What? That you don't love him? Come on, Cassandra! You're an idiot, I see it. In your thoughts. In your memories. No matter how bad you want, Dylan to feel. No matter how sorry you want, him to be. You know that you'll always love him.'

Did I love him? As in the way the loved Victor? I will always love Victor, and even though Dylan was my mate, I couldn't deny the connection that was coming between us. Could I ever love again? The way I loved Victor. Could it be possible for me ever to love Dylan that way?

'Then answer this, Cassandra. Would you be searching for him if you didn't?'

I swallowed. It was true. I wouldn't be willing to look for Dylan if I didn't feel anything for him. I knew that my feelings for Dylan were coming back, but he was my mate. No matter what wouldn't, I always feel something for him?

'Admit it, Cassie. You love him, don't you? He's the reason that you don't want me to take full control huh?'

Was Dylan the reason why that I didn't allow Kathy to take control of me? I doubted that I'd even be able to find him if Kathy was in control of me. I couldn't let her do that, and I couldn't let her have control of me and be able to ruin my chance of finding him.

'Why do I get the feeling that you're not going to answer the question.'

'Just leave me alone, please.'