An Angel's Saviour | Minsung

Six

••••• TW: mentions of alcohol (abuse) + Jisung mentions his suicide. Again, no details. Mentions of the suicide will be mentioned after '•••' (only 3 dots) and will be over after those as well. •••••

"Mom?"

"Honey? W-What're you doing here?" His mother walked up to him as Jisung automatically stood up, quickly being engulfed in a hug. The two friends took it ad their cue to leave, telling Jisung they'd come see him before he left. He just nodded slightly as tears made their way down his cheeks.

"Come on, lets go to my house to talk okay?" Jisung just nodded, walking silently alongside his mother, hands clasped together tightly. The walk was short as the two entered the tiny looking home. Jisung froze in his tracks. The layout was the same as their old house. Only of course, looking like it had when she passed away. His heart started to hammer in his chest, realising just how much she must've missed them.

"Quick, sit down. I'll make you some tea."

"Can I have coffee, actually?" His mom's eyes widened slightly before a small smile played on her lips. Her son had grown up so much. "Sure honey." She came back soon after, placing two coffees down on the living room table.

•••

"So... why are you here? What happened? Did you get into an accident?" Jisung just sat there, looking down at his feet. He never would have thought he'd have to tell his mom that he took his own life. Well, he didn't think he could tell anyone that, for that matter.

"Ohmygod, did you get murdered?"

"No— mom, I... I did it myself." He murmured the last part, unsure of how to say it. He felt awkward and the guilt he had supressed all this time slowly made its presence known.

"What?"

"I did it myself."

"Oh." His mother's eyes widened, Jisung just staring at his feet as he fiddled with his hands. He was holding back tears, not allowing himself to cry over the choice he had made. He was happy he had done it. It had been a good choice. At least... he thought at first.

"Sorry?" It came out like a question, but he didn't know why he would be apologizing. His mother was dead too, it's not like she was the one that he left behind.

•••

"Why did you... you know? Were you getting bullied?"

"No! I... I'm not sure how to tell you this. I don't think it's something you'd like to hear."

"Baby, you telling me what you just did is also something I didn't like to hear. It saddens me that you wanted out like that, but there is nothing we can do." Jisung stayed silent just a bit longer before he took in a deep breath.

"Well... Dad went a little off the rails after you passed away? He turned to alcohol and quickly became addicted in a poor attempt to leave reality. It ment I had to take care of myself as well as him. He lost his job not even a year after you passed away. Obviously I was too young to work and didn't understand anything related to money as well as our savings, but I didn't have much time to not know those things. I used up nearly all the savings by the time I could finally legally get a job. It— it was s-so hard, mom." The boy started to cry, his mother quickly pulling him close to herself. "I-I was so exhausted just dealing with t-that pain for over a decade. He isn't getting b-better either, I just... I just couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't strong enough. The worst thing is, w-when I was doing it, all I thought was 'I'm so sorry Changbin'. I didn't even think about d-dad!"