Before fame; a 5sos fanfic

Chapter 4

Clarissa:

When Calum told me that Luke knew something was up with me, I was a bit surprised. And pissed off. When I went into the living room to tell the guys that Calum and I were going for a walk to get snacks, he was looking at me with this thoughtful look, like I know here's something you're hiding something from me, I'm gonna find out what it is, but I don't know if I should. I now have a strong urge to punch Calum in the face for telling Luke that there was something up with me. He was going to think I was some weirdo when, if, I told him. I could just imagine that. "Hey, Luke. We've been friends almost our whole lives and I've never told you this. I hit my head once when I got into a really serious accident and now I get these really depressed moments when I want to kill myself." He would probably stop talking to me and think I was sme depressed weirdo. Ugh. Stupid Calum. Why did he have to tell him? Why, why, why?

We were currently at the corner store, filling a basket with unhealthy snack foods. We were spending a little too much money on junk food, but it was junk food, so it was okay.

"Okay, Claire. What else do we need? Umm...huh. We've got everything...wait! Thats right! We need ice cream! What kind?" He didn't wait for my answer, he was already pulling the freezer door open, knowing that I wanted mint chocolate chip. It was my favorite kind. It was Calums favorite kind, too. He grabbed the frozen treat and walked to the clerk, expecting me to follow, which is exactly what I did. He paid, smacking my hand away when I tried to hand my money to the employee. When we got home, the boys nearly tackled us for the food. They took the plastic grocery bags out of our hands and raced back to the couch. Eating the snacks, they continued watching a movie they must've put in while Cal and I were out. Calum had told me that he wanted to talk to me while we were at the store, but he hadn't said anything of importance while we were there. Just things like, "Help me find the good kind." or "What flavor should we get?". I had figured he would talk to me about my moment, but he hadn't said anything.

I would never tell anyone about this, and nobody knew, but I had cut myself last time. A really deep cut. It hadn't healed yet, and I had inflicted it almost 6 months ago. I was too scared to tell anyone, so I hadn't gotten stitches, but I think I might need them. It should've healed by now. I wish I could tell someone, I wanted to tell Luke but he wouldn't understand. Nobody understood. I had to stop thinking of this, or I would start remembering that night.

Oops. Too late.

We were driving home from the party. Ashley, my best friend, was driving, and I knew she had chugged a few beers back at Mark's house. I was very uneasy about her driving, but I had drank a bit as well so I was in no shape to drive either. I didn't think anything so terrible could happen, so I never really worried. The worst that could happen was we would get fined, or so I thought. We were driving calmly when all of a sudden we swerved. I grabbed Ashleys shoulder in a panic, but she just laughed. The car righted itself and we drove calmly once again.

"Calm down, Claire. Don't get your tits in a twist. We'll be at my place in a bit. You can crash there. Alright? Look, we're, like, five blocks away. Maybe six. When we get there-" All of a sudden, she screamed. I looked over at her, panic rising in my throat once again, one half of me scared to death and the over half wondering if she was just fucking with me again, thinking she was funny. When I saw the bright headlights inches away from our car, the panic overtook my nerves and I couldn't move. She was so not fucking with me. The car collided with ours with such a force that my head snapped back, then started whipping everywhere uncontrollably while we spun in wild circles. My head hit the window hard, causing a crack to spread through it along with a strange sound. A piece of glass snapped off the window and sliced my temple, blood dripping down my new red lace dress that I had just bought with Ashley, who sat unmoving beside me, her neck bent at an angle that a human neck was not meant to reach. I tried to reach over, but my arm felt like it weighed a million pounds. My arm dropped and I fell into darkness, a deep pit of pain, darkness and despair.