Pantomaniac

Chapter 24

Kef looked in the rearview mirror. Now in the daylight, he could see his eyes bags clearly. After heading home from the bungalow the night before, his mind couldn't stop thinking. All night, he tried to figure out what he was meant to bring. That voice. It was talking to him. It asked him to bring something. Was it asking for a key? But why would he have the key?

He managed to stop himself from spiralling further into the trivia. He was sitting in his car, parked right in front of Rina's house. At that moment, there was a more important thing to do. He was sure Rina would have heard from Dr Janet.

His legs felt like they weighed a ton as he stepped out of the car. As much as he wished he didn't need to explain to Rina, he tried to focus on meeting Maya. It was, after all, a scheduled visit and he hoped, really hoped, Rina wouldn't punish him by stopping him from meeting his daughter. He had already lost Alisa. Losing Maya too would have killed him.

Kef's heart sank when Rina did not come out of the house. He had pressed the bell several times.

He walked back to his car and pressed the honk. After several deafening honks, his ex-wife finally showed up. He knew right away things were not going to go as he had hoped. Her steps were slow, her face was twisted and there was something else. When she was mad, she would move her arms as if she was marching. It was something Kef had picked up over the years. But no, she wasn't doing that at that moment. Her arms were almost stiff.

Something wasn't right.

"We need to reschedule," Rina said when she reached the gate. She did not even move to unlock it.

"What? Why?"

Silence.

That confused Kef. If Dr Janet had told Rina what had happened, those would be the very first words to leave Rina's mouth. The silence was deafening.

"What's wrong? Is Maya okay?"

"No...I mean, yes. She's...resting."

"What do you mean resting? She's sick? Let me in, Rina."

"No. I told you she's fine. We will reschedule. I-I need to go now." Rina turned to leave.

Kef grabbed the gate and started shaking it. "Rina, get back here! What's wrong with my daughter? Rina? Rina!!"

Kef's mouth lay open when Rina did not turn. She simply stepped back into the house and slammed the sliding door shut.

*****

The car came to a half as Kef gently pressed his foot on the brake. He cast his look into the woods. At that moment, his mind was at war with himself. One part of it was egging him to park his car, run to the bungalow and find a way to unlock the mysterious room. The other half of his brain was fixated on Rina's behaviour.

Something was wrong. Really, really wrong.

Not having the strength to decide, Kef drove on and parked the car in front of his house. Perhaps a good rest would do him some good, he thought.

He was right. He had decided to take a long, hot bath while trying to empty his mind. He pictured a jug full of black water. With every splash of water onto his face, neck and chest, he poured the water out. He poured and poured until the jug was empty. Kef allowed the drops of water to massage his skin. It was no spa but for the first time in months, he forgot about everything and just lived in the moment. And in that moment, it was just him and the shower.

Even as he stepped out of the bathroom, his breathing held a steady rhythm. Soft inhale, gentle exhale. Each time he exhaled, he could feel the knots in his brain unwind.

His bed had never felt better. The fabric of the quilt, as old as it was, did wonders against his thin home t-shirt. Kef stretched his legs and arms, twisting his body like a worm. His lips curled into a smile. Then he turned left. Then right, burying his face in the pillow and again exhaling. With each growing second, the image of the bungalow and the face of his wife ebbed.

Kef finally resumed his initial position, lying flat on his back. He was still smiling as he looked at the ceiling. His eyelids soon became heavy. He welcomed the drowsiness. Gently, he glided into sleep.

Hewould not have been smiling had he known what was about to happen.