𝓓𝓾𝓵𝓬𝓲𝓼 𝓓𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓶

.• 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙣 •.

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader-ish

Warning(s): PTSD, depression, there might be other mental health issues mentioned that I didn't add in the warnings.

Song: weapon by Against the Current (lol, yes, deal with it. That shit rocks btw. I know y'all are angry at 2020 so y'all can take it out and scream with that song if you want to)

Another song I referenced here is that won't save us by the same band. If y'all want me to make a separate fic just lemme know.

*****

Having been orphaned by war, the last twenty years had been you waging war against your inner demons while firing guns at your outer demons almost every time you stepped out of your abode. It was infuriating to say the least. Hysteria was closing in on you and it was starting to rip you apart, piece by piece.

I always say, I always say that it's the last time
A promise I can't keep
I always say I'll get a grip and it'll be fine
But I lie straight through my teeth
And though I try and do it right with my intentions
Yeah, they're good, they never break, but I still bend 'em
'Cause this devil on my shoulder wants to pull me underneath

It was hard to regain your composure, having the need to remind yourself to conquer the monsters in your head to take control of all of you, and there were times that you did. Be that as it may, as soon as you'd reach the top another bullet would be dodged and it just became a never-ending cycle, "a goddamn loop" as Jesse had put it.

Another sleepless night
Staring through the ceiling
I'm wondering how could I
Calm my head? Yeah
Calm my head 'cause

I see red
My blood is boiling and it shows
When all you are is a weapon
You shoot' em down 'til you end up alone
I seem fine
But I can't take the highs and the lows
All I am is a weapon
I shoot 'em down 'til I end up alone

You were hot under the collar. McCree felt the same. The fuck did the world exist for if it was just going to end up like how it did? Not only were you mad at this poor excuse of a 'humanity', you were also mad at yourself for winding up becoming the devil of your own. You were the protagonist and antagonist of your own story and you couldn't believe you wrote a tale with the villain getting their mitts on the flag of triumph.

You were beating yourself to the ground, you knew it. And you also knew you couldn't just fight your fight alone, but somehow you screamed at yourself for everything and this caused you to lose some of the most important things in your life. The only thing, or perhaps person, that was keeping the bullets from piercing your heart and mind was Jesse McCree who was in the same place as you were. You were going to be fine, you told yourself. You just needed to let the anger die 'cause that won't save you.

All I am is a weapon
I shoot 'em down 'til I end up alone