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pairing: musician!leon kennedy x musician!f!reader
tag(s): friends to lovers, angst to fluff, based on sabrina carpenter's album of the same name
warning(s): angst in the beginning, mentions of break up, very self-indulgent :]]], like, i'm deadass serious, the middle part's solely dedicated to valorant (i'm sorry) to the point where i feel like most people reading this wouldn't understand a single thing on that part. i'm addicted to that game at this point
word count: 2322
*****
If I fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too?
You leaned back onto the bed frame as you scribbled words on the page. The room was dimmed and bestrewed with crumpled and torn-up papers. On them was a collection of lyrics and doodles, all scrapped and erased with different variations of squiggles and lines across them. You looked out the window. The storm was still swirling outside, you could see how the rain was being pushed towards the direction the wind was taking them along with the trees holding strong against the puddled ground. Droplets of water were looking pretty gliding across glass like a bunch of tiny branched-out rivers heading down towards the pool on the windowsill. The mood was just right for you, perfect for an angsty and lonesome song to be written under the flashing lights of the occasional lightning.
Or maybe I believed in all your lies 'cause I believed in you
Downstairs you could hear Leon experimenting with different chords on his guitar, falling flat with the strings from time to time. You even found yourself giggling at the number of times you heard him growling in frustration when he couldn't get the tone and the transitioning of the sounds right, or when he forgot which chord to play next.
"Fucking dumbass fingers!"
Your smile slowly faded as your gaze fell back on your notebook. You thought about which words to write down, spinning the pen through your fingers while doing so.
Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?
I know you know it keeps me up
Did you think about her face with your hands around my waist?
Did you even give a fuck?
You convinced yourself you were over it, over him, over that mess of a love affair that was basically just narcissism and manipulation born as one human. You'd recognized the red flags, even had you and your best friend, Leon, tag him with the nickname 'code red' whenever you passed by him. Still, you couldn't keep the conflict within you that made you so gullible to your insecurities from fighting against your self-worth. You were still in the process of rebuilding that trust towards yourself, still in the process of pushing away any remnants of love that made you feel so violated. But, how were you going to forget him when you kept overthinking all that had happened? How were you going to forget loving him when you kept grasping onto the 'what if's?
