Trial and Error

Mean-Tsukki

Who let someone so soft
be close with someone so harsh
who let me love someone
so intent on tearing my heart out 

You say things 
that I hope you don't mean
and I'll just laugh it off because 
sensitive is the last thing I want to seem

You know how much you get to me
the red is plastered on my face
and the smirk on your lips implies
you wouldn't want it any other way

I've never been the type to be put first
so maybe that's why 
even after your hurtful words
I let what you do slide

Part of me loves it
when you tease and call me names
but its a part of me that revels
in every bit of pain

Its a self destructive part of me
that I've worked to shut down
but every bit of reason
leaves when you're around

I hate how my heart flutters
when you show the moments of kindness
it's enough to make me love you
almost enough to make me forget

That you are surrounded
by walls of harsh words
and it wont be me to tear them down
all I'll get is your worst