Pale Fingertips < Zico Fanfiction >

Confessing

Feeling sick by the sight of his face I looked away. How couldn't he know that his games would really turn me into a lovesick bird, searching for the right way to fly away. He was cautious, he needed to be cautious. Otherwise I would feel dumbed and rejected by knowing he noticed everything. How sad his cheeks fell when I asked him, how sad I knew he played with me all along.. still I wanted him somehow. "Tss ha.. now you're acting like a kid." My lip started to bleed while I began to get out of the bed, kicking him with my two feet. Full of anger, madness and things I can't describe. "Will you talk now?! Will you go now?! Or cry like a baby?" His back bent when I tried to push him off. "Ya!" He didn't say a thing. I tried multiple times to make him scream or say just one word.

But I soon stopped and got up. Unsteady steps, but I made it to stand. Maybe he will stand up now too, so he can show me if he really cares. I followed the surrounding of the bed frame Now I will show what I'm capable of. I won't let you do play with me again. You need to know. and accidentally stumbled, reached my arm out and streaked his left shoulder. "Even now you won't speak with me. Just a few minutes ago you, you.. you told me to rest! You told me not to get up, not to walk around! Why won't you help me? Why won't you stop me, like you always do.." I don't really know what happened but as soon as my eyes turned red my heart felt so so hurt. Surreal. "Because.." "*sniff* yeah?.." I opened my lids and watched him getting to the ground. "Zico.." Although he fell from the bed I couldn't move.  He lifted himself up. Weak and blue, that's how he stood right before me. He held is left arm with a shaky hand and looked to my legs. "Because I don't know what to do with me." "What do you *sniff* mean?" He suddenly looked straight into my face. "Remember when I said I lied to myself? Yeah, I did. I'm not saying I lied by only telling something wrong. Also because I raised a white flag, by giving my heart up.. on you.." "Youre not a liar." "Huh?" "Youre just not good at acting tough." The last teardrop flew down to my neck and I brought myself to him. Taking his hand, pulling him close to me (even though he was bigger then me) and hugging him tight. While I drew him to me he seemed surprised. And now I even embraced him, I did the first move..

"I know you were hurt back then. But.." Take your time, Irina "You told me you love me, I thought you were joking. You told me I need to rest, so I wanted you to protect me." I played my chin on his chest. "And now I want you to say it again. If you do so.. I promise, I will try to-" his heart beated so fast. "I will try to.. let go of the things I don't need anymore. I'm sorry for everything.." I didn't mean to get angry but he just.. argh. He made me go mad because he didn't say a word! "I still don't know what to think about you.. but the things you did and said.. I want to give you at least a bit back by having the courage to tell you, that I love you too." I didn't hope for an answer neither a explosion of laughter. Cause he was always so different, his moods changed so often that I wanted to make him see what's in my head. What he did to my life, ever since he came into my life. Floods of shame crossed my mind.

"I'm sorry, for making you wait.."

He paused breathing for a moment and then kissed my hair.