First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 86

Jasmine's POV

I wasn't ready.

I'm sat on my bed fully dressed in tights, UGGs, and a hoodie that isn't the one I spent the whole morning looking for again. I could barely sleep last night. I woke up again after barely an hour of being asleep and Nash wasn't in the room anymore. I called for him and he came to me with food. It was nuggets and fries from my favorite place but I still barely ate any. When I went on my phone, I barely got a chance to unlock it before Nash told me that if I wasn't going to eat I needed to sleep. I didn't complain but I didn't miss the way he shoved my phone into his pocket to keep me from getting to it again.

"I'll leave it when your asleep and I'm leaving." He promised before kissing my forehead. Just as he promised, it was plugged into the charger on my nightstand when I woke up with no notifications except a text from Nash saying he'd give me a ride from now on.

I was barely able to pick up the pieces of myself and get in the shower this morning. Now I'm left with curly hair and an empty feeling that began to throb in my chest once the warm water was no longer thrumming against my skin. Nash should be here any minute but I can't bring myself to stand and go downstairs to wait for him. My body feels numb and I'm trying to ignore the nagging thoughts of him.

Did he ever come home? Has he been around Nate, and I hate to consider it but has he been smoking?

My hands are shaking as I think of how school will be today without the option of running to Sam if something were to happen. I've got nothing to lean on, no one that knows what to do to help me besides him. Once again I am left vulnerable and helpless without him.

Sammy I'm sorry, I think silently as I wipe at my eyes to hault the inevitable oncoming tears.

I hear a car pull up outside and I try to collect myself as I stand up and grab my bag off of the floor. I hold in a sob as I realize it's one that Sam bought me.

How can he make me do this? He knows it won't work and he'll come crawling back inevitably. We've already been through this before enough times to know that I can't survive without him and he can't live without me.

In a fit of anger and frustration I dump everything out of the brown pleather bag and snatch a blue backpack out of my closet. I stuff everything into it and frantically wipe at my cheeks to rid them of the tears that are pouring from my eyes as I hear Nash's car door shut. I sling the bakpack on and jog downstairs just as his figure approaches the door and he rings the doorbell.

I take one last deep breath before I pull it open slowly. He's wearing a blue hoodie that makes his eyes pop and black ripped jeans with the combat boots I got him. I never even found out if Sam liked his gift or not, I just left it there and went back to my house to get ready for Nash's birthday. I look down at the floor when he dips down to kiss me, him missing and awkwardly pecking my cheek. The last pair of lips on mine were his and in a sickening way, I don't want to wash the feeling away.

I still haven't decided if I should tell Nash or not. It will only hurt him and he doesn't deserve that. I don't know how he'll react. Will he forgive me or dump me? I wouldn't care much if he left me right now. Nothing will ever hurt as much as Sam's departure from my bed room just a few days ago.

"How are you feeling?" Nash asks as he backs away so I can step out.

"Fine." I turn and lock the door before I walk towards the car with him. I let him open my door for me and I get in before he shuts it and gets in on his side.

"You gonna be okay at school today?" He asks as he starts the car and pulls out of my driveway. He reaches over and grabs my hand in his. His hand is warm but other than that there is nothing, I feel nothing. I look down at my lap as he intertwines our fingers and squeezes gently.