First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 24

Sam's POV

What did you just do?

Why did you do that?

I leaned back against the door after I shut it, trying to keep myself from going right back out there and picking her up off the ground and holding her to my chest, begging her to forgive me. I could still hear her crying out for me. Her sobs consumed my every thought.

She deserves better than this. She doesn't deserve to be hurt.

"Sammy!" I heard her choke out in a strangled sob. I couldn't believe what I'd just done to her. I heard her cry out again, it wasn't my name this time, thank god. I turned and looked out of the blinds beside the door. She was on her knees, back to the cabin. I was glad I couldn't see her face, how broken her eyes must have looked.

"What the fuck did you do?" I heard someone speak lowly behind me. I turned to see Johnson looking at me with nothing but pure disappointment. "What did you fucking do to her?" He yelled, his fists clenched at his sides. I'll never forget the look on his face, disgust was all that came to mind. "I- I didn't- I told her we couldn't be friends anymore." I looked away from his piercing gaze. He looked so let down. How could he not be? Hell, even I was disappointed in myself.

I promised her. I knew she said I had broken it already but I could tell now that she didn't really believe that until now. I took her biggest fear and threw it in her face. Jasmine was terrified of being abandoned. Her dad had left her, but I swore I would never do that. I was supposed to be different from everyone else in her life. I was supposed to be the one she could count on to always be there for her.

God, what have I done!

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that?" He shouted. Johnson never got angry, so I knew I'd fucked up even worse than I had understood. "She deserves better." I held.

"What the fuck did you just say?" He stepped towards me, right in my face. "When a girl deserves better, you fucking be better for her! You don't fucking abandon her! You don't leave her crying out for you!" He pushed me back into the door with each sentence.

I was in too much shock to do anything but take it, besides: I wasn't going to hit Jack, ever. He paused, shaking his head. "I hope Sarah is worth this. I hope you'll find a way to at least want her the way you need Jasmine, because I don't know if she'll ever forgive you for this." He yanked the door open, making me trip forward since I had been leaning against it. I tried to say something but I just couldn't. I loved Jasmine, and Sarah would never be anything but second best... but there was nothing I could do. My reasons for staying with her were low, but I had to.

He jogged out to her and she turned to look up at him when he placed his hand on her shoulder. I could barely see her face but I could definitely see her tear stained cheek. "Jack, he left me. He promised he wouldn't." She croaked. He bent down and picked her up, his arms looping under her back and knees, carrying her back towards the cabin she was staying in. It seemed as if everyone was carrying her these days but me.

I wanted to go after her, grab her out of his arms and hold her in my own. Take it all back and apologize a million times over and over until she forgave me. Kiss her all over her face until she smiled and accepted my apology. It was a mistake, it was all a mistake. But it was too late to take it back now. She was already shattered, fallen apart right in front of me and I did nothing but stand and watch as my words destroyed the only trust she'd ever have in me. It was my fault, for Christ sake.

Maybe I used to be better for her, but that was all gone now. Everything between us shifting into broken promises and half-hearted apologies within two minutes. She wouldn't forgive me for this, this was unjustifiable. "Fuck!" I slammed my fist into the door frame. I didn't feel any pain, but when I looked down at my clenched fist, my third knuckle was split open, blood flowing out of the wound.

"Shit." I muttered, holding it against my jeans to prevent it from dripping onto the floor.

What did you do?

I don't know.

Jasmine's POV

My body was numb...

I could barely feel Jack's arms around me. Where was Sammy and why wasn't he the one carrying me.

Where is my Sammy?

He left you.

Another sob racked through me and Jack's arms tightened around me, "Shh. It's ok Jazz, you're gonna be ok." Jack whispered as he walked up to the cabin door. He kicked it a few times which sufficed as knocking because he couldn't with me in his arms. I could barely make out Tasha's face when she came to the door, a wide grin plastered to her face as Aaron yelled something from the living room. Her face fell as soon as she took in what was going on. "What happened?" She whispered, opening the screen door to let Jack in. "Sam." He muttered.

I was still crying softly, my body becoming exhausted from a day's worth of crying. My day started with me crying, and I realized it would end the same because the sun was setting now and I was still sobbing into Jack's chest. Tasha led him up to my room, opening the door. That's when I remembered that Nash was in there sleeping, or I had at least hoped he still was so I didn't have to explain this. Sam had deserted me, and like the idiot I am, I knew I would still hate it if Nash spoke badly about him.

My prayers were obviously not answered when Nash walked out of the bathroom, shirtless with a pair of green and blue, plaid, pajama pants hung low on his hips. "What did he do?" He said to Jack when set me down on the bed. I grimaced, realizing everyone had already known whose fault it was that I was crying. They expected this.

I was too tired to even try and get up, barely rolling over when Tasha and Nash followed Jack out into the hallway to get the juicy details, shutting the door behind them. I could still hear their muffled whispers through the door. I felt like a sick child, being carried around and talked about as if I'd gotten in trouble with the principal.

I didn't wait for Nash to walk back in and lecture me about how he saw this coming, or for Tasha's weak attempt to comfort me. I let myself drift into unconsciousness. I wanted nothing more than to sleep and forget about the feeling of being left by the only person that I always thought would be by my side. I didn't want anyone else but Sammy. But Sammy was... he was gone. I had no one to count on, no one to run to. I was weak and I admitted that. I knew I was pathetic, always running to someone for support instead of finding it within. I needed someone because I couldn't stand on my own.

I needed a crutch, and Sammy was my just that. I was crippled when my father had left and I'd never been able to walk on my own since then. But that didn't matter because I'd always had Sam regardless.

What did I have now?

What happened to the cripple when they leaned too heavily on the crutch and it was suddenly ripped away from their grasp?

Did I fall?

Who was supposed to catch me?