First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 110

Nash's POV

I don't like hospitals, in fact I hate them. They are my least favorite places in the world.

I've been in this one for three hours, just sitting here. I didn't know what to do when Jasmine passed out and it would have taken longer for an ambulance to arrive if I had called 911 so I just drove her here myself. They said she was okay and that sometimes anxiety attacks can get a little extreme. They told me I did the right thing bringing her here but I still feel like there's something I could have done better, some way I could have helped her more.

She hasn't woken up since she went unconscious which scares me. They took all of her vitals and took a little blood to run some tests and let me stay in the room with her as she sleeps. I don't like the way she looks in the hospital bed with the monitor hooked up to her.

I called her mom on the way here and she was actually here working today but she was dealing with patients. She assured me that Jasmine was okay and this had happened before plenty of times but that she would be coming later during her break to check on her.

"Wake up babe," I mumble into her hand clasped in both of mine. Her hand clenches in mine and I stiffen as she moves slightly on the bed.

"Jasmine? Are you waking up?" I brush my hand over her forehead pushing the hair back from it.

"Hm," she barely hums and my stomach flutters with anxiety. When she wakes she will never forgive me for what I did. It was wrong and unjustified, I never should have went behind her back and did that. I have no excuse and she will hate me.

"Jasmine please don't hate me," I lean forward and press my lips to hers, pecking them gingerly before pulling away.

"Sammy?" She whimpers, eyes still closed, and my chest clenches.

"No it's Nash," I frown as I rest my hands down on the bed, hers still held in mine.

"Nash," she sighs as she scrunches her eyes tighter before blinking them open.

"What happened?" She looks around in confusion and I clear my throat.

"You had an anxiety attack and passed out, I'm so sorry Jasmine. This is all my fault," I squeeze her hand and she tries to pull it away as soon as she realizes I'm holding it.

"The text," she mumbles to herself. Her eyes meet mine and they are filled with disgust.

"How could you do that?" She asks, her little fist balling over the hospital sheet.

"Jasmine calm down, you could still be recovering or something. I don't want you to have another." She's still shaking. I touch her hand and she flinches away from me.

"Don't touch me, get away from me," she yells.

I lean forward in the chair and just when I'm about to apologize again the door opens. We both watch as a nurse holds it open and none other than Sam walks into the hospital room.

"Jasmine, oh god I'm so sorry. I never should have left you alone," he rushes to the other side of her bed without even a glance in my direction and sits down beside her legs.

"Sammy," she whimpers and sits up. She throws her arms around his neck and he wraps his around her waist, pulling her closer. She sobs into his chest and his eyes lock on mine. I get the feeling that there is a lot he wants to say to me but that's fine. I've got a lot I want to say to him too.

Something flickers in his eyes as he tears them away from mine and he leans into her neck, barely kisses it, and she holds onto him even tighter.

"Are you okay?" He murmurs into her ear and my jaw clenches at the soft affection in his tone towards her.

"I couldn't breath Sammy and you weren't there," her body shudders and his hand rubs small circles into her back. All I can think is that I could have done this, I could have held her like this. What Sam does for her isn't all that special, I'm just ignorant and don't have experience with this. It isn't fair that he's gotten all the time with her that I haven't gotten yet, that he knows so much more about her than I do. And as I watch him sitting here holding her and her calming down and telling him that she needed him I get sick to my stomach.

It's not what Sam does to help her, it's who he is to her. I could do exactly the same thing as him and it wouldn't be enough because I'm not Sam. It hurts to admit it but when she says she needs Sam to help her it's more than that, more than how he touches her and the words he says to her, more than the comfort foods he brings her and the movies he watches with her. It's him, just him being himself that helps her.

Just his presence is enough for her anxiety to subside and I hate that with everything I have, I hate it so much that I can't stand to look at her in his arms.

"I'm here Jasmine, you're okay now," he whispers and she pulls away a little to look into his eyes. Her bottom lip trembles and he loosens his grip on her.

"I'm sorry Sam, I'm sorry for what I said to you," a pang of jealousy shoots through me and I've never felt more unwanted and awkward than right now watching them together, how natural it is for them. How is it that I feel like I'm third wheeling my own girlfriend.

"I'm just going to go," I give up, I can't do this anymore. If Jasmine wants me she can have me but I refuse to go out of my way anymore. I love her so much but it's tearing me apart to keep putting myself through this.

She watches me stand with wide eyes but doesn't say anything as I leave. I don't want to leave her, especially right now, but seeing her and Sam is just too much. I don't even understand why he's here considering he fucking left her crying at some restaurant but it seems that his presence is definitely wanted by her. Who am I other than some guy that happens to love her that she doesn't care about because I'm not Sam right? That's what it seems like.

"I love you," I say as she scoots a little out of his arms. She grabs for my hand but I just can't, the guilt for what I did and the realization that I am not nor will I ever be more to her than Sam is are eating away at me.

It smells like sick in the hallway, stale and peculiar, the walls are grey and the aura is dreary.

I hate hospitals.

Jasmine's POV

"I shouldn't have left you there, I'm sorry."

I nod and look into Sammy's eyes, "I forgive you."

"What happened, why did you pass out?" He asks, his hands are warm on my sides and it feels like home to be in his arms like this. I have missed him and I am glad the uncomfortable sense that we are strangers has melted away so quickly. It's been gone since our fight at the restaurant. All these unresolved feelings were brought to the surface so easily, I don't think they ever actually left. We were just pretending.

Pretending. It's what we're good at. Its what has worked until now.

"I confronted him about the text and he didn't deny it. You know when you see that someone isn't the person you thought they were all along, its like they transform right in front of your eyes. It's terrifying to realize that you don't really know someone the way you thought you did, I don't know him Sammy." My voice breaks and I bury my face in his shoulder.

"The Nash I know never would have done that, that wasn't done out of love. It was done out of selfishness and Nash isn't selfish," I cry. It sounds like I'm trying to convince myself of something I know isn't true but I know Nash, or I thought I did.

"I want to be angry but I can't blame him, I could never blame anyone for being selfish with you. Look at me and all I've done in the past." His eyes are warm and understanding, I adore them like this.

"I know it's just so hard to believe that he really would do that to me," it still doesn't seem like it's real. I never imagined this from him in a million years and I don't know what to think about it. I want to forgive him but I just think it will take some time, more than he can wait.

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Didn't proof read this one :/

Sorry about such a long wait guys. It's finals week :((((((

As always,

Alyssa.